Patrice Callender

Sometimes you crank that Soulja Boy and sometimes it cranks you P.F.T.W.

[Patrice Callender @patricec]

General relocation if you need me: https://t.co/mL90IZOcx9

[Patrice Callender @patricec]

Annual Twitter proof of life. Who all is still here? How are you keeping? Say hey!

[sadie rose @sadieillustrate]

This is a public smear campaign for a very normal opinion. Don’t forget it

[Patrice Callender @patricec]

@LegallyFeisty Exactly.

[Patrice Callender @patricec]

Out here giving “colorized photos” a whole new layer.

[David Dennis Jr. @DavidDTSS]

y'all.

Nevermind, man.

But you see it. lol

[Sarah McGonagall @gothspiderbitch]

The casting director who decided to cast Carol Burnett as twisted theater villain and enlisted Tim Curry and Bernadette Peters to play her sleazy sidekicks was operating on a wavelength unknown to mere mortals.

[HumanityCritic @HumanityCritic]

A dude at my job stopped talking to me. Let me explain:

Said co-worker is my age(50), and he brought his age inappropriate girlfriend(20) to a work function. At some point, he lost track of her. So I said, "I'm sure we will all be getting Amber alert messages any time now."

[Leah Goodridge @leahfrombklyn]

The world famous Brooklyn Botanic Garden is opposing a private developer’s plan to build housing nearby.

Why?

The 14-story buildings would block sunlight, which could harm the garden’s plant + flora collection.

A clash bet a 113-year-old garden + “build housing everywhere.”

[Patrice Callender @patricec]

Not the foxes trying to get to #SoftLife I am done.

[Ministress of Enjoyments @LaCienegaBlvdss]

Zoologists believe foxes are currently trying to become domesticated.

They’re taking on cat/dog like behaviors hoping humans will take on the burden of feeding and caring for them because they’re tired of the wild.

[hot girl midsommar @verymimi]

need an oral history of lukas haas’ work with outkast on my desk by next week

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

There was and will be only one Marian Robinson. In our sadness, we are lifted up by the extraordinary gift of her life. And we will spend the rest of ours trying to live up to her example. https://t.co/2gH0DPQYVb

[Patrice Callender @patricec]

Days later and this photoset of Billy Zane as Brando is still borderline uncanny. His eyebrows have been waiting his entire career for this moment...

[IT WAS NEVER GOING TO BE ME @solomonmissouri]

Rappers across America waking up to the reality that parental negligence can be used against them in a rap battle

[Patrice Callender @patricec]

Look at our girl 🥰

[🐝 @beydisciple]

Jabria is an ACTRESS, okay! #AbbottElementary

[Mia Sade @mia_sade]

This song deserved better

[Patrice Callender @patricec]

@mia_sade Agreed. Those cowbells are a clear sign to act the hell up when this comes on.

[Future Rockstar GF @fendifaguette]

Rihanna and Zendaya dropping editorials on the same day

[Patrice Callender @patricec]

@thecutecook The way I just howled in my kitchen at this. I'm dead now 😂😂😂

[Patrice Callender @patricec]

I am in tears 🤣🤣🤣

[Bitch, thrifty?! Hoe, money!! 💰 @_GodHerself]

I’m sorry but I SCREAMED 😂😂😂😂😂