Patrick Ponder

Younger than I was yesterday. Older than I will be tomorrow. Profound, no? // He/Him

[Patrick Ponder @patrick_ponder]

A moment of silence for the pregnant mannequins at Target who will never know the joy of holding their infant mannequin children in there cold plastic mannequin arms

[Patrick Ponder @patrick_ponder]

@brockg @dgoold I would say Carlos Martinez was dominant for several seasons. Jason Motte was also a dominant closer, and he was converted from catcher, so I would give extra points for that. Ryan Helsley was also drafted by the Cardinals. Reyes was always promising, but his big issue was injury

[Patrick Ponder @patrick_ponder]

As a rabid @Cardinals fan, here is how I feel about Cardinals fans…

As a whole- 10/10 great fanbase

On social media- 0/10 trash garbage leave Nolan Arenado and Paul Goldschmidt alone

[Patrick Ponder @patrick_ponder]

@stl_nation Bro you gotta chill from time to time. You’re gonna have an aneurism

[Patrick Ponder @patrick_ponder]

I’m baffled. How can we be moving away from inclusion?? How—in 2022—is this shit happening? It is such a disappointing regression, and I can promise that my future children will never be ⁦@officialSPS⁩ students. https://t.co/3YGuTucvxZ

[Cardinals Player Development @CardsPlayerDev]

All four #STLCards affiliates won on Sunday, so we're giving away this autographed baseball by Top 💯prospect, C Iván Herrera!

RETWEET & FOLLOW @CardsPlayerDev for your chance to win!

One winner to be chosen randomly on August 12 at 12PM CT. Rules: https://t.co/afxJR4CJim

[Patrick Ponder @patrick_ponder]

@normalsexylady Was it like a private delivery driver or can you guys just post mates that shit now

[Patrick Ponder @patrick_ponder]

@Michael_Cerami This passed Cards/Cubs series got you down?

[Patrick Ponder @patrick_ponder]

@mrsg2teacher @JamesRoday I sure did, thanks for asking

[Elizabeth Tulloch @BitsieTulloch]

Every word of this 2018 passage by Methodist Pastor @davebarnhart:

[Patrick Ponder @patrick_ponder]

@mrsg2teacher @JamesRoday But this isn’t a conversation cautioning a friend to reconsider a choice. This is a conversation about federal and state government stripping bodily autonomy

[Patrick Ponder @patrick_ponder]

excuse me waiter there’s a church in my state

[Preet Bharara @PreetBharara]

SCOTUS read neither the room nor the Constitution correctly

[Patrick Ponder @patrick_ponder]

Relax it’s a joke

[Patrick Ponder @patrick_ponder]

The nightmare of everyday life has rendered the classic April Fool’s Day joke obsolete

[Patrick Ponder @patrick_ponder]

@dougthompson I would love to talk to you if you have time. My great-uncle was Eugene Ponder. My email is [email protected]

[Patrick Ponder @patrick_ponder]

I would suggest a Fight Club/ Rocky Horror Picture Show double feature to celebrate Meat Loaf but I think that would leave me in a really weird headspace

[Patrick Ponder @patrick_ponder]

@normalsexylady same business model as movember

[Patrick Ponder @patrick_ponder]

Slick move tryna blame your erectile dysfunction on COVID

https://t.co/5TjDXfm88J

[Patrick Ponder @patrick_ponder]

My god he’s done it

Bo has leveled Jeff Bezos

[Patrick Ponder @patrick_ponder]

Start calling ‘devils advocates’ ‘satans mouthpiece’ and see how many people still wanna play that game