Patrick Albanese

I’m a magician and actor by trade, who moved from L.A. to the Midwest in order to pursue my showbiz dreams.

[Patrick Albanese @patrickalbanese]

@USATODAY Since his shows tend to sell out in minutes, many on the waiting list would appreciate it if the boycotters would turn in any tickets asap.

As a side bonus, who wants those wet blankets in the auditorium anyway?

[Patrick Albanese @patrickalbanese]

@christopherrufo “Stay out of my bedroom!”

“Well, we have to go into your bedroom to see if you are in fact gay.”

“Ok. Thats different. “

[Patrick Albanese @patrickalbanese]

@StefanMolyneux If a woman can’t empathize with a man who doesn’t want to date a single mother, then she is planning on being a single mother herself someday.

[Patrick Albanese @patrickalbanese]

@shipwreckedcrew She seems to be inferring that black jurors would have acquitted Karmelo.

Does that mean black jurors would find a white defendant guilty no matter what?

This is good to know.

[Patrick Albanese @patrickalbanese]

@LahnHQ Let's call him Robigale Sandburger.

He's another fake moderate like the Virginia governor who took her hand off the bible and immediately took a far left turn.

[Patrick Albanese @patrickalbanese]

@DefiantLs Interesting how she turns to walk away but keeps her head facing forward. Must not want us to see a profile shot.

[Patrick Albanese @patrickalbanese]

@VaticanNews “You have dreams no one has the right to despise.”

But their dream is to kill the infidel, and they say I’m the infidel. Sorry Pope, I despise that. I have a right to as well.

[Patrick Albanese @patrickalbanese]

@ZachLahn “Rob Sand. Governor for all. Just kidding!”

[Patrick Albanese @patrickalbanese]

@johnqnixon731 @IAFieldReport @RobSandIA To be fair, he was their best choice among two-faced hacks.

[Patrick Albanese @patrickalbanese]

@Rich_Cooper “What do you bring to the table?”

“I’m hot.”

“Will you promise to stay hot forever?”

“No man is going to tell me what to do!”

[Patrick Albanese @patrickalbanese]

@shipwreckedcrew I go through phases of saying “Screw California! They get what they deserve!” and saying “No! We’ve got to save California.”

I am currently in phase 1.

I left there 18 years ago when it was only mostly bad. I never thought it’d get like this.

[Patrick Albanese @patrickalbanese]

@thegarybrecka I bought one of those Face Baths. I put really cold water in and submerge my face for 30 seconds. Unbelievable!!!

Instant charge and ready to hit the gym with a ton of energy.

The one I have comes with nose plugs and a snorkeling device so you can breathe under water.

[Patrick Albanese @patrickalbanese]

@shipwreckedcrew Thanks to that maneuver I got to watch Gretzky play.

[Patrick Albanese @patrickalbanese]

@adamcarolla Because she’s still 3 IQ points more intelligent than her voters.

Easily mid 60’s.

[Patrick Albanese @patrickalbanese]

@joeroganhq So Trump can “Disappear “ people who he doesn’t agree with but she will go on national television and disagree with Trump.

Isn’t she worried she’ll be disappeared?

[Patrick Albanese @patrickalbanese]

@ZachLahn @SteveDeaceShow This is great.

Very excited for November

[Patrick Albanese @patrickalbanese]

@DylanByers @instapundit Now that is a strongly worded letter.

[Patrick Albanese @patrickalbanese]

@SteveGuest @redsteeze “Doc. What does it mean when Joe eats from the dog bowl?”

“Nothing. He’s fine.”

“Well, I’m no expert Doc. I’ll take you at your word.”

[Patrick Albanese @patrickalbanese]

@redsteeze Nobody is going to take down billionaires and redistribute that money to everyone health care.

Even if they could pass a bill, the billionaires would be long gone.

[Patrick Albanese @patrickalbanese]

@shipwreckedcrew Still brings a tear to my eye.