Patrick Pajak

[Patrick Pajak @patrickpajak]

@Jerrad307 You know who is in though? ABBA

[Patrick Pajak @patrickpajak]

Now-a-days, whenever I hear someone say that they want a white Christmas, it's tough to tell whether they are saying they like snow around the holidays, or if they're just a Republican.

[Patrick Pajak @patrickpajak]

@Jerrad307

[Patrick Pajak @patrickpajak]

I just saw a guy at a casino get fired from his job, simply for making a bet. I asked him what happened and he said he bet "the over" on a game. I was shocked. I asked what he did and he said he worked at a funeral home. Turns out they take the title of Undertaker quite seriously

[Patrick Pajak @patrickpajak]

@Jerrad307 Is the setting a local trash can? The dump? #GarbageLeague

[Patrick Pajak @patrickpajak]

@Jerrad307 Wow. Hurtful words on a Friday morning. Not cool.

[Patrick Pajak @patrickpajak]

@bairdsly That does check out, considering my yearly salary would cover a midrange level of loafer

[Patrick Pajak @patrickpajak]

@bairdsly Look, I don't if rowing or wading in the lake would have been more fun. But it is nice to have different options to choose from. I guess at the end of the day, all I know is that I'm pro choice.

[Patrick Pajak @patrickpajak]

I'm at a lake today and can't decide if I should get in a boat and paddle myself around, or just slowly walk around in the water. I now understand why the US is so split on the Row v Wade debate

[Patrick Pajak @patrickpajak]

After a rainy spring, I'm shocked that the Native Americans didn't realize the Pilgrims were going to land at Plymouth Rock. I thought that everyone knew that April showers bring Mayflowers.

[Patrick Pajak @patrickpajak]

@dpshow How do you not mention Johnny Gaudreau? A star NHL player tragically died. That should lead the show.

[Patrick Pajak @patrickpajak]

@bairdsly Hahahaha, pretty egregious omission. The Mission Park wiffleball field should be renamed "Chris Baird Legacy Diamond". #TheRyneSandbergOfSpokaneWiffleball

[Patrick Pajak @patrickpajak]

I think we can all agree that FingerElbow isn't a socially acceptable thing to name a child, so how did Tony slip through the cracks?

[Patrick Pajak @patrickpajak]

I just discovered some Mediterranean cheese in a small college town outside of Spokane. I think I'll call it Fettuccine.

[Patrick Pajak @patrickpajak]

@Jerrad307 Really feel like I deserve better than that. Although, I do appreciate a good Curb gif...

[Patrick Pajak @patrickpajak]

I want to be a defense attorney who exclusively defends people named Jehovah- just so I could watch the jury get real quiet and pretend not to be there when I say "I'd like to call Jehovah's witness to the stand".

[Patrick Pajak @patrickpajak]

I am terrified by the thought of being alone. The idea that my entire worth is tied to having a home, or a car, or some other personal equity is awful. I can't stand it. Wait, did I say alone? I meant a loan.

[Patrick Pajak @patrickpajak]

@Jerrad307 Pshhhh...it's called building a rapport. Can you help me out @JaySawvel? What has been on the lunch menu recently?