ShampinePapi

i like ducks

[ShampinePapi @patrickshampine]

i am my dogs sugar daddy

[ShampinePapi @patrickshampine]

a fun family game we like to play around the holidays is politician or retirement home escapee

[ShampinePapi @patrickshampine]

i put my pants on like everyone else, ass first

[ShampinePapi @patrickshampine]

Thursday?

we thankful for aunt tillys weird green dish

Friday?

we fight strangers down at the walmart for a shitty $40 tv

[ShampinePapi @patrickshampine]

i doubled my followers since elon took over, they are all bots.

thanks elon.

[ShampinePapi @patrickshampine]

has anyone ever been stuck in good traffic?

[ShampinePapi @patrickshampine]

your special sauce is thousand island, you and it are not special

[ShampinePapi @patrickshampine]

it’s depressing thinking about that aliens probably have depression too

[ShampinePapi @patrickshampine]

Every east side los angeles party includes discussions of CAST IRON PANS AND SOUR DOUGH STARTERS.

me_irl

[MLB @MLB]

SHE IS ... GONE!!

1988 meets 2024

Absolute chills

[ShampinePapi @patrickshampine]

obama just moms spaghettid us, i miss him but hopeful

[ShampinePapi @patrickshampine]

my favorite things to tell AI are like “throw shrimp at barbie”

[ShampinePapi @patrickshampine]

remember during an earthquake to stop, drop, and roll.

[ShampinePapi @patrickshampine]

Jeremy Strong.. apparently not a killer.

[ShampinePapi @patrickshampine]

Caught myself singing "stirring me softly with these tongs, with these tongs" as I made dinner last night.

[ShampinePapi @patrickshampine]

paint is just wall sauce

[ShampinePapi @patrickshampine]

**prop whatever commercial comes on**

this prop will save children and end kill shelters. if you don’t vote for it you are a piece of shit.

**looks up prop whatever**

oh it saves children from not starting work at 12 years old and closes all shelters. ffs.

[ShampinePapi @patrickshampine]

teach kids how to vote in high school

also other life skills, cooking, bills, finances, government assistance programs, healthcare, etc.

[ShampinePapi @patrickshampine]

most things i read on linkedin make me say id never wanna work with the people in my feed

[ShampinePapi @patrickshampine]

solana beach it’s not just a stop it’s an adventure 😂

[ShampinePapi @patrickshampine]

my amtrak conductor just announced welcome to oceanside home to camp pendleton

hoorah
hoorah

and pirates

arrrggh

this is why you don’t listen to music on amtrak fam