Patrick Jay Waldman

I tweet the dumbest things so don't even bother following me

[Patrick Jay Waldman @patwaldo80]

First 2019 New Years resolution is to organize/cleanup/delete at the 6000+ photos I’ve collected over the years on my phone. Let this be the thread of the funny/scary stuff I find over the next few days 🙃

[Patrick Jay Waldman @patwaldo80]

@KitKat_US Seems like that can’t happen

[Patrick Jay Waldman @patwaldo80]

@KitKat_US bought a fun-size snack pack. This is the 5th bar with all Kit and no Kat. I am very sad now. This was not a fun pack.

[Patrick Jay Waldman @patwaldo80]

@SweeTARTSCandy bruh every pack. Greens. Come on. Still havent gotten my coupons from the last packs

[Patrick Jay Waldman @patwaldo80]

@SweeTARTSCandy bruh

[Patrick Jay Waldman @patwaldo80]

@SweeTARTSCandy The green ratio is out of control. I opened this package with 7 GREENS. This happens all the time. 5,6,7,8… greens in a row. I want others colors to be fairly represented. I don’t want to start eating @Smarties but I will if things don’t change….

[Patrick Jay Waldman @patwaldo80]

Imagine being an influencer and going through like the most heartbreaking dialogue to all your followers about something tragic in your life and then going back to add some trendy ass song to your video to maximize views

[Patrick Jay Waldman @patwaldo80]

@BlueClaws If we bought tickets, are they good for both games?

[Patrick Jay Waldman @patwaldo80]

What the fuck is this Mets broadcast right now

[Patrick Jay Waldman @patwaldo80]

Gronk+Brady > literally any duo to ever exist

[Justin Taylor @TheSmarmyBum]

We’re so screwed https://t.co/9uY7ai7nVR

[Patrick Jay Waldman @patwaldo80]

@espressoobeann It takes two

[Patrick Jay Waldman @patwaldo80]

People who go off mute only to laugh at the bosses shitty jokes… grow up

[Patrick Jay Waldman @patwaldo80]

I forgot how overwhelming it is to be betting when there’s like 200 games on today

[Patrick Jay Waldman @patwaldo80]

@paulwal76 I literally thought we had quit every sport and was getting crushed by countries that had never won before

[Patrick Jay Waldman @patwaldo80]

As someone who didn’t really follow the olympics very much this year, I am totally shocked the USA won most golds/medals because I feel like all I saw was shit talking and bad light on every American/sport from the non-sports media

[Patrick Jay Waldman @patwaldo80]

@PhillyWill11 Good luck this season Will. Kill it like usual #BravesForever

[Patrick Jay Waldman @patwaldo80]

If there’s any Olympic athlete we should be criticizing, it’s Novak Djokovic. What a fucking baby

[YoBabyMamasOtherBabyDaddy @YoBabyMomsBFF]

Y’all ever notice that when your life doesn’t revolve around the workplace…

People at work kinda dislike you…