paul_snyder

Art Director at INSP. Comedian. Runner. Father. Husband. Follower of Christ

[paul_snyder @paul_snyder]

I think my spiritual gift is finding the person in a comedy crowd that is clearly not enjoying my material and fixating on only them the rest of the set. I’m batting 1000!

[paul_snyder @paul_snyder]

I don’t like being middle aged. I’ve started to forget important dates and memories but still know every word to Poison’s “Every Rose Has Its Thorn.”
#middleage

[paul_snyder @paul_snyder]

If you invite me to an event and I respond , “wow, that sounds like a lot of fun” be assured that I am not coming

[paul_snyder @paul_snyder]

As an introvert, I don’t like small talk. But since having foot surgery and being on crutches, that has apparently given everyone the freedom to ask me what happened. And now I have to engage in small talk. Stupid foot.

[paul_snyder @paul_snyder]

Every summer my kids become geriatric retirees and start asking for dinner at 3:30 in the afternoon. Okay grandpa!

[paul_snyder @paul_snyder]

#freeharrisonbailey #govols

[paul_snyder @paul_snyder]

Me: I can’t believe people believe those crazy Qanon conspiracy theories

Also Me: did the groundhog see his shadow? I don’t know if I can do another 6 weeks of winter

[paul_snyder @paul_snyder]

@BPullias @POTUS And no use of All Caps

[paul_snyder @paul_snyder]

Waiting on these votes to be counted is still faster than most churches versions of “I could sing of your love forever.” #2020Election

[paul_snyder @paul_snyder]

I'm all for not letting Covid dominate my life, but hearing Trump say it after he just received care from doctors and medicine that we don't even have access to sounds a lot like a kid telling his class not to worry or study for a test that only he has the answers to.

[Clayton Morris @ClaytonMorris]

It's worth remembering that as President Trump takes a helicopter ride to Walter Reed tonight where he'll receive the best-socialized medicine money can buy there are millions of Americans who have no healthcare facing the very same conditions.

[paul_snyder @paul_snyder]

@Wario64 My wife and I were both trying on different computers (me at work, her at home) and unbeknownst to the other, we both got one. Now we have 2 bundles. I'm afraid to cancel one in case something buggy happens.

[paul_snyder @paul_snyder]

@cdioriocomedy You missed the "M" at the beginning. He's commenting on your man boobs. The scariest boobs of all.

[paul_snyder @paul_snyder]

Michelle Obama stated clearly and simply that Donald Trump is in over his head.

Trump responds by tweeting a wild conspiracy theory about the Obamas spying on his campaign.

It is what it is.
#MichelleObamaSpeech

[paul_snyder @paul_snyder]

You can be a Democrat or Republican or Libertarian. You can listen to Ke$ha or Drake or TSwift. You can enjoy the mountains or the beach. I can be friends with all of you. But if you prefer Pepsi over Coke, you are a monster and you can unfriend me now.

[paul_snyder @paul_snyder]

@caileenace If you’re interested in working for a TV company, we’re looking for another marketing member. https://t.co/TaQZ2d5qlU

[paul_snyder @paul_snyder]

@cameron987 79 degrees? Please never invite me over.

[paul_snyder @paul_snyder]

@AskTSA I have to fly to Dallas tomorrow. Since Lysol is so scarce, can I put a can in my checked luggage?

[paul_snyder @paul_snyder]

@cameron987 I love dark mode. Am I a psychopath?

[paul_snyder @paul_snyder]

Need ways to exert extra energy? This is a good one. https://t.co/urJto5GWk3