Kim Dracula

🌙 happiness is a state of mind ☀️ @kimdrac

[Kim Dracula @paulinabrooke]

I’m so excited to be sober twins with my idol @marilynmanson

[Kim Dracula @paulinabrooke]

Jimbo

[Kim Dracula @paulinabrooke]

where the FUCK are the men that want to make me the picture on their phone screen

[Kim Dracula @paulinabrooke]

Note to self don’t forget ear plugs and sunglasses for future concerts 😩

[Kim Dracula @paulinabrooke]

I look so cute in my little outfits in the summer 🥺

[Kim Dracula @paulinabrooke]

Good morning to 65 year old men and 65 year old men only.

[Kim Dracula @paulinabrooke]

The MOST beautiful women on earth are walking around Walmart. (In Scarb only, fuck Falmouth)

[Musfara Ai @MusfaraAi]

YOU'RE BORED BECAUSE YOUR LIFE HAS NO SIDE QUESTS.

Here are 33 side quests to complete before July:

1. Visit a part of your own city you've never been to.

[Kim Dracula @paulinabrooke]

Mr Brightside will not be played and I will personally call the cops on anyone who tries to request it

[Kim Dracula @paulinabrooke]

Making a wedding playlist and I’m anal af about the lineup

[Kim Dracula @paulinabrooke]

Someone tell this man he has thirty minutes

[Kim Dracula @paulinabrooke]

Truly so many people who work minimum wage jobs that I have encountered are some of the absolute kindest sweetest people on the planet

[Kim Dracula @paulinabrooke]

Eating my bagel in the morning is literally the best part of my day everyday

[Kim Dracula @paulinabrooke]

Seltzer waters SLAP away harder when you’re sober. This is wonderful news.

[Kim Dracula @paulinabrooke]

I spent so long looking for an apartment, and literally the only one I found that was available, is the one I picked, which ended up being a 5 minute drive from whole foods. God is real.

[Kim Dracula @paulinabrooke]

cracking open a cold seltzer, turning on the AC and crawling into bed to watch Love Island on a 90 degree day… i wish for everyone to experience this immense level of joy.

[Kim Dracula @paulinabrooke]

I showed my drivers license photo to my new friend and she looked at it, looked at me, and said “are you a fake person?” because it looks nothing like me

[CooperBaggs 💰🍞 @edgaralandough]

NOBODY WARNED ME AT 32. SO I'M WARNING YOU.
(Write these down. Save them. Screenshot them.)

1. Your parents are not background characters.

[Kim Dracula @paulinabrooke]

Note to my future self if I’m sad: Go to Whole Foods and just vibe. And buy yourself a little treat. And honestly just apply to work there.

[Kim Dracula @paulinabrooke]

Just thinking about the time that I went to a strangers wedding at a bowling alley and someone put me in the game as Gothiana

[Kim Dracula @paulinabrooke]

Someone asked me if I was 16 today