Paul Lanza

33 years on Earth… 🌎 Britney fan. 💃🏼 Pom & pug dad 🐶🐶

[Paul Lanza @paullanza]

In my next life—I hope to be a chihuahua.

[Paul Lanza @paullanza]

Imagine being so deeply out of touch with reality that you think you’re in touch with reality. Girl!

[Paul Lanza @paullanza]

Girl

[Paul Lanza @paullanza]

Can someone reset my simulation?

[Paul Lanza @paullanza]

I refuse to buy items that are locked up at a store. @Hanes packaged undershirts locked up at @Walmart good staffing has always been the best deterrent of theft.

[Paul Lanza @paullanza]

Haven’t stopped listening to @Madonna ITS OK—I F$&K WITH IT. #CONFESSIONSII

[Paul Lanza @paullanza]

🎶 “She’s the lady in red when everybody else is wearing tan.” 🎶

[Paul Lanza @paullanza]

Proposing after breaking in to climb the spire of the Empire State Building is next level romance.

[Paul Lanza @paullanza]

In 2016 @realDonaldTrump said he was going to “drain the swamp”. In 2026 he has created both a literal and metaphorical swamp of his own.

[Paul Lanza @paullanza]

Last week in Puerto Rico 🇵🇷

[Paul Lanza @paullanza]

Just found out that @IamCKirkpatrick is Chip Skylark from The Fairly Odd Parents! I love My Shiny Teeth & Me 🦷

[Paul Lanza @paullanza]

“But you see, I have the other slipper.”

[Paul Lanza @paullanza]

@Google should add the ability to write reviews on government buildings like City Hall for example.

[Paul Lanza @paullanza]

#Overprotected hit extra hard in the car this morning. @britneyspears

[Paul Lanza @paullanza]

Last schedule before vacation is posted! 12 days!

[Paul Lanza @paullanza]

🎶 shine bright shine far be a star 🎶

[Paul Lanza @paullanza]

“You better work b*tch” @britneyspears here we go

[Paul Lanza @paullanza]

If? No no no. When!

[Paul Lanza @paullanza]

Girl, buckle up! Here we go!

[Paul Lanza @paullanza]

In Burlesque when Marcus asks Allie what she wants in life and she responds “why should I tell you.”

[Paul Lanza @paullanza]

“Notice how the straights of Hormuz are causing all the problems?” “The gays of Hormuz would never!”