Paul Mathis

professional pinch drinker

[Paul Mathis @paulmathis_]

Whenever I need a little motivation I just ask myself, “What would Tony Perkins do?” #WWTPD

[Paul Mathis @paulmathis_]

@KathyHochul

[Paul Mathis @paulmathis_]

Me: Sorry daddy I’ve been bad

Priest on the other side of the confessional: Umm it’s actually “Forgive me father for I have sinned”

[Paul Mathis @paulmathis_]

I’m team door simply because I hope there are more hidden doors out there in the world than I think, I just can’t see them

[Paul Mathis @paulmathis_]

@CNN If only they skipped their daily coffee…

[Paul Mathis @paulmathis_]

Me when I hear a couple thuds from my Uber’s trunk:

[Paul Mathis @paulmathis_]

Me to melted cheese:

[Paul Mathis @paulmathis_]

I’m all for companies saving energy, but does the automatic timer for the lights in the bathroom have to be so short?

[Paul Mathis @paulmathis_]

When I get a work call as I’m getting ready to clock out:

[Paul Mathis @paulmathis_]

If you don’t think performance anxiety exists then you clearly never had someone watch you while you read something they showed you on their phone

[Paul Mathis @paulmathis_]

Anybody else read suggested serving sizes and just think of them as a challenge?

[Paul Mathis @paulmathis_]

@SubtleThreat Everyday Struggle - Notorious B.I.G.

[Paul Mathis @paulmathis_]

When I order my smoothie but only taste banana:

[Paul Mathis @paulmathis_]

When someone hands me a grilled cheese and they used Kraft Singles

[Paul Mathis @paulmathis_]

Well well well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions

[Paul Mathis @paulmathis_]

Can’t wait to hear “We found love in a hopeless place” at every wedding of couples that met during covid

[Paul Mathis @paulmathis_]

People are excited for the end of 2020, but people were also excited for the last season of Game of Thrones and we all saw how that turned out

[Paul Mathis @paulmathis_]

Shoutout to @Tanium for a fun CTF challenge and for the hook up with @sip_tequila. Can’t wait to win the next one too

[Paul Mathis @paulmathis_]

As a junior analyst in the field of cyber security, so much of what I have learned has been because of people with little to no personal brand. So thank you to those who actually go out and help develop junior analysts instead of viewing it as an opportunity to market yourself

[Paul Mathis @paulmathis_]

@SubtleThreat Yikes