Paul Tynan McKenney

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[Paul Tynan McKenney @paultynan]

@Disney @disneyplus RELEASE THE CINDERELLA 1997 SOUNDTRACK PLZPLZPLZ I’ll give you a kidney and 15 feet of intestines

[Paul Tynan McKenney @paultynan]

@disneyplus it is Saturday morning and I want to watch cartoons. But I do not want to binge a single show. I want to watch different cartoons! Like a real Saturday morning on real tv! Can you build an app or something that will shuffle certain shows? Or make a playlist? Please?

[Paul Tynan McKenney @paultynan]

What #nyc needs right now is to act like we have a giant case of bedbugs. Yes, life sucks. Everything goes in plastic and you really shouldn’t go anywhere so as to not give the bugs to your friends and neighbors. No hugs! No Grindr hookups! And gods sake stay drunk! #bedbugvirus

[Paul Tynan McKenney @paultynan]

“I’m really condescending and it’s actually one of my beat qualities in case you didn’t notice.”

- Me. To all of you, my twitter followers

[Paul Tynan McKenney @paultynan]

Server vs Waiter: a think piece
Waiter=wait=patience. No thank you, hurry up eat pay leave
Server= Yes! Serving looks! Serving attitude! Serving songs! And (when I’m in a good mood, and the stars are right) serving your food.
Also waitress/ waiter is weirdly gendered so bye.

[Paul Tynan McKenney @paultynan]

@verizon HELP HELLO I NEED HELP I JUST BOUGHT A $1000 PHONE THAT DOES NOT WORK WHERE IS YOUR CUSTOMER SERVICE NUMBER I HAVE NO PHONE I NEED A PHONE ARE YOU THERE I NEED A PHONE WHERE ARE YOU I NEED A PHONE YOUR PHONES COST MONEY I NEED A PHONE????!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!!?!?!?!!!?!?!!

[rocky @rockycodes]

I love cats.

[Paul Tynan McKenney @paultynan]

#cats has songs that slap. So does #grease2 heck even #themusicman has a few in there. That’s why they’re all good musicals.
#lesmiserables has none. That’s what separates it as a masterpiece.

[Paul Tynan McKenney @paultynan]

# 1 for sure!

[Paul Tynan McKenney @paultynan]

After watching Rebel Wilson eat those cockroaches, that edible may be the last thing I ever eat.

[Paul Tynan McKenney @paultynan]

If you don’t clap for @IanMcKellen at the end of his song in #cats #CatsMovie he dies like tinkerbell in peter pan. CLAP YOU FOOLS!!!

[Paul Tynan McKenney @paultynan]

Look, if I have to sccept that #DieHard is an Xmas movie, then y’all r gonna have to accept that #4loko is an Xmas drink.

[Paul Tynan McKenney @paultynan]

#LesMiserables IS a Christmas movie!!! If you’d read the book (ahem... AHEM!!!), you’d know that the night Valjean rescues Cosette from the Inn is CHRISTMAS!!! Don’t fight me on this!!!

[Paul Tynan McKenney @paultynan]

@Ghastly @amariemckenney

[Paul Tynan McKenney @paultynan]

When you’re in your 30s, marrying for money is no longer about finding a guy in his 70s with tens of millions of dollars high blood pressure or something. Now, he’s gotta be late 90s, barely breathing, and I’ll take him for a rent controlled apartment and like $200,000.

[Paul Tynan McKenney @paultynan]

Rewatched the made-for-tv 1997 #cinderella last night and here are my thoughTS:
1. The aesthetic is a 90’s Lisa Frank dreamscape
2. Every seen between Paolo Montalban and Jason Alexander was integral to ushering me into puberty.
3. WHEN WILL THEY RELEASE THIS SOUNDTRACK?!?!

[Paul Tynan McKenney @paultynan]

When it comes to finding a sugar daddy, the worse his heart condition, the better my heart condition.

[Paul Tynan McKenney @paultynan]

“Ha! I bet you thought I was DEAD dead! Haha!” - Fantine, Act 2 of #LesMiserables #lesmiz

Also, the exact kind of spooky I’m aiming for this Halloween.