mike TV (rackregretter)

until the moon comes over my tower.

[mike TV (rackregretter) @pauseagony]

there are those of us that have thought about what would happen if the power went out at work, and those of us that did not. it’s a fucking bloodbath.

[mike TV (rackregretter) @pauseagony]

five is the one of post-four one digit numbers

[mike TV (rackregretter) @pauseagony]

@MonrovianPrince jokes on you, every single time they are.

[mike TV (rackregretter) @pauseagony]

how’s come you don’t see ads anymore that are like “you won’t last five minutes playing this game”

[mike TV (rackregretter) @pauseagony]

holding hostages with a lit roman candle

[mike TV (rackregretter) @pauseagony]

there’s no way this barrel’s gonna explode

[mike TV (rackregretter) @pauseagony]

new ragebait idea:

[mike TV (rackregretter) @pauseagony]

@sainterosie ig “all parties” didn’t include you

[mike TV (rackregretter) @pauseagony]

@spo9globoob an astounding new format emerges

[mike TV (rackregretter) @pauseagony]

getting extorted rn and told bro to put that shit out i ain’t running for office

[mike TV (rackregretter) @pauseagony]

i’m glad james gandalfini wasn’t here for ozempic his ass would look so weird

[mike TV (rackregretter) @pauseagony]

deep down nobody likes a challenge (except for me)

[mike TV (rackregretter) @pauseagony]

if your gf loses her job and or her mom dies, as a guy you have to to break up with her that week you HAVE to

[mike TV (rackregretter) @pauseagony]

i think my pen pal is fucking my ex wife

[machine yearning eng in SF 8/4-8/28 @confusionm8trix]

bruh it didn’t even occur to me that there would be a Creature in this movie

[mike TV (rackregretter) @pauseagony]

welcome to wrongville. population: you

[mike TV (rackregretter) @pauseagony]

bitches love to say it’s a pattern of behavior

[mike TV (rackregretter) @pauseagony]

told my mom if enough of us go to hell we could overthrow heaven

[mike TV (rackregretter) @pauseagony]

@simpsons_DG STING! mom ! dad !

[mike TV (rackregretter) @pauseagony]

told bro about jalepeno cheddar sourdough and i swear i saw the light return behind his eyes if not for a second