Pawdecki

Shit Pawdecki Says: A shmedium helichopter of insanity

[Pawdecki @pawdeckisays]

"I should make a Twitter account for the stuff that comes out of your mouth"
"I'd follow that!" -P

[Pawdecki @pawdeckisays]

“Four doors for more whores, that’s what I always say!”

[Pawdecki @pawdeckisays]

“They have three packs of [bell] peppers at Wegmans. I usually just eat them like an apple. Cutting them up is too much work.”

[Pawdecki @pawdeckisays]

I have two rules: no crying and not throwing up. It’s all I ask.

[Pawdecki @pawdeckisays]

I don’t know how someone could get addicted to drugs, but I could sure get addicted to [goat] cheese!

[Pawdecki @pawdeckisays]

“I don’t feel bad for anyone who has kids. He could have pulled out like the rest of us.”

[Pawdecki @pawdeckisays]

My Civic is a four door for more whores.

[Pawdecki @pawdeckisays]

Old people are the worst. At least with kids you can hit them and they can’t tattle on you.

[Pawdecki @pawdeckisays]

The electric skateboard I bought is good for 260lbs! I was like, “oooooooh, I can gain some weight!”

[Pawdecki @pawdeckisays]

“Dude is trying to sell me a million dollars of software and he looks like a jamoke. I know you can afford nice shirts, I can afford nice shirts!”

[Pawdecki @pawdeckisays]

“Look at me, I’m fucking delicious!”

[Pawdecki @pawdeckisays]

“Ugh, those birds are having sex on the chair behind you.”
“Wow, that was quick. That bird is quicker than me!” -P

[Pawdecki @pawdeckisays]

[after checking the recent rise in value of Litecoin] “I can almost wear my Litecoin shirt again without being embarrassed!”

[Pawdecki @pawdeckisays]

The real proof God doesn’t exist is that he took Bob Ross and not Trump.

[Pawdecki @pawdeckisays]

That premarital sex...icky!

[Pawdecki @pawdeckisays]

It’s hotter on mountains! You’re closer to the sun!

[Pawdecki @pawdeckisays]

I could probably be a surgeon in like Mexico or Columbia.

[Pawdecki @pawdeckisays]

That’s probably why Jeff bought a motorcycle. He saw me scoring babes.

[Pawdecki @pawdeckisays]

I need to date a 40 year old. “Drugs are bad!” “Ok, you can drive.”

[Pawdecki @pawdeckisays]

“I like a gigantic man.”

[Pawdecki @pawdeckisays]

“I went to the drive through; thought I was being romantic. I fell asleep before the previews were over.”