Dehumanising puppy play.
"down" you can't get on the bed, that's for people.
"sit!" because you're not allowed on the bed but you can follow commands.
"paw" because you don't have a hand, puppy has a paw.
"shake" because you're being taught new tricks like a good dog.
"awww. does puppy think its a person." in a condescending voice, and something in you breaks because puppy isn't a person and puppy is suddenly whining and barking and humping the air and puppy doesn't know why.