Josh Myers

[Josh Myers @Peabodius]

It’s interesting that the only people who sing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” are the people already at the ball game.

[Josh Myers @Peabodius]

@BoilerUpload My sources are telling me that Dan Dakich is struggling to stay relevant.

[Josh Myers @Peabodius]

"I have to say, your cooking skills are really impressive" said my son as he finished the grilled cheese I made him.

Sometimes success is about finding the right audience.

[Josh Myers @Peabodius]

I love flu bugs. The dehydration makes my physique look ripped. #nopainnogain #bodytransformation #toastlife

[Josh Myers @Peabodius]

Watching Joe Biden speak makes me want to watch all of Lloyd Bridges’ scenes in Hot Shots.

[Josh Myers @Peabodius]

If I had lost all the weight I resolved to lose on New Year’s over the years, I would now weight -115 pounds. Watch what you wish for kids, dreams can be dangerous.

[Josh Myers @Peabodius]

@BoilerFootball Purdue is playing in their long johns this weekend. Sweet?

[Josh Myers @Peabodius]

I just saw a license plate that reads “LEZ RIDE” and I’m torn between two drastically different interpretations of what that means.

[Josh Myers @Peabodius]

I don’t necessarily think of myself as a “Midwesterner”, but then somebody holds the door open for me and I say “Ope, presheeayedit” and there it is.

[Josh Myers @Peabodius]

@J2SNK That would make the fight a little more fun for sure.

[Josh Myers @Peabodius]

I think the next Predator should be set in medieval times. He can fight the Black Knight, the Rabbit of Caerbannog, and the Black Beast of Aaarrgghh!

[Josh Myers @Peabodius]

With my recent birthday, I have officially outlived JFK, Andre the Giant, and Vern Troyer. A little morbid, perhaps, but I AM THE WINNER!

[Josh Myers @Peabodius]

Might go to Kroger tomorrow to check out the annual Snowpocalypse Grocerymageddon. The canned food aisle is always intense, but don't sleep on the ice cream section. There are 3 pints of Tonight Dough left, and blood will be spilled.

[Josh Myers @Peabodius]

Dude, literally half of the lyrics to your song are “fa la la la la la la la la”.

Are you even trying, bro?

[Josh Myers @Peabodius]

I've devoted like 10 hours of my life to this show and I haven't seen a single squid. Weak.

[Josh Myers @Peabodius]

Pro tip: sometimes I use a string of punctuation marks and dollar signs in my typed sentences. This way my civilized friends are unaware that I’m using naughty words

[Josh Myers @Peabodius]

I was reading the news this morning, and some “scientists” from Biden’s National Weather Service have issued a heat advisory. Nice try Lamestream Media, but you can’t control me! Now somebody help me find my snow pants…

[Josh Myers @Peabodius]

I see posts complaining that Facebook is censoring Covid conspiracy theories, and yet I still see posts complaining that Facebook is censoring Covid conspiracy theories.

[Josh Myers @Peabodius]

I made fried rice tonight. Uncle Roger apparently unavailable for comment.

[Josh Myers @Peabodius]

Walmart shopping carts are truly the Walmart of shopping carts.