gotosleep

apologies in advance for the rants. ✌🏻

[gotosleep @peanutkukudile]

overly stimulated with solo venture in town (,:

[marqix ☆ @fwmarqix]

Joined a gym. First day, accidentally used someone's "regular" treadmill.

This MASSIVE bodybuilder approached.

Him: That's my treadmill.

Me: There's no names on it...

Him: There is now.

He put a laminated sign on it: "RESERVED - TANAKA"

Me: You can't DO that!

Staff: shrugs, He's been here 15 years. We let him.

Fine. I used a different treadmill.

Week 2: He reserved that one too.

Week 3: He had SEVEN machines reserved.

Me: This is insane!

Staff: Please don't make trouble.

Month 2: I started coming at 5 AM to avoid him.

He was ALREADY THERE.

Him: You're persistent.

Me: I'm just trying to work out!

Him: So am I. That's my bench.

Me: I'M SITTING ON IT.

Him: Not for long.

He just... stood there. Staring. For 15 minutes.

I left.

Month 3: I hired a personal trainer to help me navigate the gym.

Trainer: Oh, you're the one Tanaka is obsessed with.

Me: OBSESSED?!

Trainer: He talks about you constantly. "The foreigner who won't quit."

Me: I'm not quitting! I PAID for a membership!

Trainer: He respects that. That's why he's testing you.

Me: TESTING ME?!

Trainer: Last person he did this to is now a competitive powerlifter.

Me: I DON'T WANT TO BE A POWERLIFTER!

Month 5: Tanaka approached me during deadlifts.

Him: Your form is terrible.

Me: Thanks for the feedback

Him: I'll fix it.

Me: I didn't ask

Him: already adjusting my position

For the next HOUR he coached me.

Him: Again.

Me: I'm tired!

Him: AGAIN.

Month 8: I PRed on deadlifts. 140kg.

Tanaka was watching from across the gym.

He nodded.

Just once.

That nod felt like a DIPLOMA.

Month 10: New guy joined the gym. Used Tanaka's treadmill.

Tanaka looked at ME.

Him: Handle it.

Me: What?!

Him: He's using your treadmill.

Me: I don't have a...

Him: slides over a laminated sign "RESERVED - FOREIGNER"

Me: When did you make this?!

Him: Month 4. I was waiting for you to be ready.

Present day:

I have three reserved machines now.

I'm part of the territorial gym mafia.

Last week a new member complained to staff.

Staff: Please speak to Tanaka or the Foreigner.

New member: Who?!

Staff: points at us

We were doing synchronized bicep curls.

I've become the thing I hated.

But my deadlift is 180kg now so honestly? Worth it.

[gotosleep @peanutkukudile]

i reaaalllyyy have to start being an actual adult when reading contracts 🫪🫪

[gotosleep @peanutkukudile]

@itsjustchee bruvv, looks like life is already giving you second chances in advance in the event you miss it this friday. ^all the above comments

[gotosleep @peanutkukudile]

haaallppp who was that staff at BOP with a cross earringgg 🫪🫪

[gotosleep @peanutkukudile]

RAAAAWWWRRR

[ily @luhyoumf]

heartbreak is cool but have you ever had your favorite person turn into a life lesson

[gotosleep @peanutkukudile]

istg something’s wrong with my english. it’s turning me off 🙄🙄

[gotosleep @peanutkukudile]

my convo with my close mate has seriously evolved from blackshot tactics from the beginning to now talking about adulthood stuff like credit cards, BTO and marriages benefits..

[gotosleep @peanutkukudile]

Anyone, or if you know anyone, planning to go diving between 19th to 22nd Aug in Bali, plleeeaaaseee hmmuu 🫪🫪

[gotosleep @peanutkukudile]

update, he finally revealed his true character and it’s worse than feisty and bites 🥹🥹

thanks for asking, but i did come out of it unharmed ((,:

[gotosleep @peanutkukudile]

chatted this person up and he’s lowk pouring eveyrthing. his bio lowk feisty and bites but oh dear me, loves to be bitten like that

[gotosleep @peanutkukudile]

plans to travel to bali alone in Aug, any recommendations for accoms?

[gotosleep @peanutkukudile]

netflix just released a new heartstopper 🥹

[ACE @RealAce404]

stop texting them first and watch y'all never talk again

[gotosleep @peanutkukudile]

i promise one more diving vacation before the end of the year 🤞🏼🤞🏼

[gotosleep @peanutkukudile]

today. i move on 💀💀🥀

[gotosleep @peanutkukudile]

scuba diving therapy is real

[gotosleep @peanutkukudile]

open and advanced diving cert all in a single trippp? maaaddd fun maxxinggg

[gotosleep @peanutkukudile]

sccuuubbaaa~

[gotosleep @peanutkukudile]

Lesss ttthaaann 5 daayyyss tillll flighttt fooorr diivviinggg