Pebs

[Dr. Glaucomflecken @DGlaucomflecken]

It’s 2075. There is only one hospital in the entire country. It is 8 square miles in the middle of Kansas and owned by United Healthcare. Premiums are $47,000 per month. The only medications left are Ozempic and boner pills. Life expectancy is 38.

Government: “I can’t believe doctors did this to us.”

[Cristiano Ronaldo @Cristiano]

Selfie time with my latest fragrance: Cristiano Ronaldo Discover!

[Pebs @peberdy_]

the amount of jealousy in reply to this is unreal. fair play to her, deserved win. no need to spark Tyson Fury in the celebrations though that’s too far

[Ari Drennen @AriDrennen]

Could somebody explain to me like I have a very smooth brain what possible advantage trans women could have at darts?

[Pebs @peberdy_]

love him or hate him, what a job @Lord_Sugar is doing down there in brazil 👏

[Law @M_Law8]

Globes be like “it’s a mystery what happened in early 2023!”

[Pebs @peberdy_]

@willsass23 agreed. 90% of the teams in the efl can point to a time in the last 40 years when they’ve been shit and broke and can say they deserved to cheat just as much as city have. they’ve not had it worse than anyone else.

[why am i still on this fkn thing? @thisisjbs]

fred not again

[Pebs @peberdy_]

@JoeVan1411 dunno mate, i usually google stuff like this have you tried that?

[Pebs @peberdy_]

@JoeVan1411 @bmstores @willsass23 choose a life, not a pizza cutter #L5Alive

[Pebs @peberdy_]

‘Twitter for Android’ indeed. what a sad man

[Peter Williams @MathsImpact]

Controversial opinion:
The effort involved in doing a BBQ is not worth the pay off.
Just cook food in the oven and eat it in the garden.

[Pebs @peberdy_]

ahahaha 40,000 attempts without a ticket or with a fake ticket? the gates opened at 6 and were all locked by 8. 5.6 attempts to gain entry per second for a whole 2 hours according to the police here. absolute shite

[Get French Football News @GFFN]

Breaking | Formal police report filed on the Stade de France fiasco claims that there were between 30,000 & 40,000 attempts to enter the Champions’ League final last night either with no ticket or with a fake ticket. More follows. (BFMTV)

[Nick Parrott @NickParrottTV]

I came across this issue repeatedly as I tried to access the stadium last night. Locals trying to force their way in leading to security closing the gates and keeping out legitimate fans with tickets. Police either didn't know how to deal with it or didn't want to #LFC #UCLfinal

[Rob Draper @draper_rob]

It’s important to tell what happened on the ground last night as I see that there are already several versions of ‘The Truth’ flying around. I was on the ground from 6.45pm (2.15 hrs before kick off) when problems began. So here’s a 🧵explaining my experiences….

[Pebs @peberdy_]

@GaryLineker yes I agree Garry, they are a deterrent no more it’s time to use the nukes

[Pebs @peberdy_]

‘Can you just take us over the water mate?’

[tom @tomimpala_]

just seen this on snapchat, hahahah imagine

[Pebs @peberdy_]

thoughts? @shitlondonguinn

[Curtis Woodhouse BEM @curtiswoodhous8]

Hi son, mums had oysters and cocktails today. My advice would be to turn your tele up extra loud tonight kid. @kylewoodhouse7 🤷🏽‍♂️