chris

a real goofster

[chris @pechrisio]

pov: your worst enemy just picked you for popcorn reading

[chris @pechrisio]

listening to the Skate 3 soundtrack just to feel something

[chris @pechrisio]

walking in to every store today like

“I’m here to claim my birthright!”🗣️

[chris @pechrisio]

I’m trying to start some of my own generational trauma actually

[chris @pechrisio]

Taking a sip of all the Starbucks orders on the counter to see which one I want to steal >>

[chris @pechrisio]

had a race draft with the homies and I’m sad to announce…

the black people lost swag surfin

[chris @pechrisio]

petition to change the star spangled banner to something dope

like Love Sosa

[chris @pechrisio]

they had us in elementary thinking cup stacking was gonna change the world one day

[chris @pechrisio]

serving up vegan creampies after this vasectomy

[chris @pechrisio]

crossing apple sauce as we speak rn

[chris @pechrisio]

prayed to god and told him it still wasn’t hot enough

[chris @pechrisio]

In light of this Will Smith situation, I’ve decided to never defend my woman

[chris @pechrisio]

Thinking about getting a horse in these trying times

[chris @pechrisio]

in the lab cooking up new curse words

[chris @pechrisio]

your abuela’s in the basement making tamales as we speak!

[chris @pechrisio]

The tragic sequel:
Twelve 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 Years a Slave

[chris @pechrisio]

Every day I pray god deliver me from horniness

and I got some bad news for all you Christians…

[chris @pechrisio]

Nobody wanna admit it, but y’all all got a favorite

[chris @pechrisio]

Alright fellas it’s Racist Wednesday™️ give me your best slurs

[chris @pechrisio]

All I said was “Happy 9/11!” now everyone at this Bass Pro Shop is mad at me

[chris @pechrisio]

I wish I could whip / nae nae my problems away like I used to