pizzaparker

forklift certified (i'm not)

[pizzaparker @peegur]

questionable and unfortunately not stolen

[pizzaparker @peegur]

bbl jesus

[pizzaparker @peegur]

stolen btw

[pizzaparker @peegur]

if jesus was real he’d be the first to remove some ribs

[pizzaparker @peegur]

room temp pabst and a penjabologna extra mayo no cheese type evening

[pizzaparker @peegur]

wouldn’t wish folding laundry on my worst enemy

[pizzaparker @peegur]

tool kinda phishin it in

[pizzaparker @peegur]

folks never saw me graduate college (zoom year) but they did see me buy a dyna so

[pizzaparker @peegur]

smokin on the shit that had odysseus geekin learnin about the history of vermont

[pizzaparker @peegur]

so real

[pizzaparker @peegur]

Unemployed people (me) love Surry beach

[pizzaparker @peegur]

real

[pizzaparker @peegur]

geekin on strong watchin how it’s made

[pizzaparker @peegur]

if daylist goin crazy so are we

[pizzaparker @peegur]

fit goin indy 500

[pizzaparker @peegur]

fit goin nascar

[pizzaparker @peegur]

imagine farting a felonious dookie in the pen aisle @StaplesStores

[pizzaparker @peegur]

hoggin the leg press machine checkin my credit score

[pizzaparker @peegur]

stripes or solids?? what if i’m both huh what then???

[pizzaparker @peegur]

i’m built like mike wazowski we go to the same gym

[pizzaparker @peegur]

if genghis khan had a switch and a hellcat we’d all be speaking mongolian

[pizzaparker @peegur]

telling everyone it’s just piss after i sacked myself with a full pint at the bar to cope with my clumsy chungus life