bullshitdetector

[bullshitdetector @peekingduck_]

Turns out, the hanger didn’t work...

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Fixed it!

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....

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We’re going through something rn. Please pray for us...

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Only concert I need is the chorus of Ben’s moans #brockhamptonwho

[bullshitdetector @peekingduck_]

Why does @ben_leimberger insist I cover my head with a brown bag every time we make love? What’s more, he chokes me out right after while yelling “say I won’t do it bitch.” Hahahaha, he’s so quirky.

[bullshitdetector @peekingduck_]

I’m so stressed out rn, I just need Benny to stuff me like a thanksgiving day turkey so I can feel better.

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After last night at Benny’s, Olaf and I have way more in common.

[bullshitdetector @peekingduck_]

After we do the deed, Benny and I always cuddle and talk about important stuff. I think my favorite memory is when he went on a full-hour rant about how the Confederacy was justified in leaving and how he feels he was born to finish their mission.

[bullshitdetector @peekingduck_]

Just a short month till parents weekend! Wish my real daddy Benny would come

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I am so ready for fall: the beautiful trees, the gorgeous weather, and the smell of pumpkin spice as Benny drips the melting candle all over my body.

[bullshitdetector @peekingduck_]

You know how kids say I love you to infinity or to the sky? Well, they should say I love you from here to the end of @ben_leimberger ‘s dick. It’s larger.

[bullshitdetector @peekingduck_]

I wanted to get Benny something special for our birthday and, seeing that he always brings condoms like a responsible boy, I poked holes in them a couple months back. Get ready, sweetheart! There’s something great baking in my oven.

[bullshitdetector @peekingduck_]

William Benton Leimberger= WBL. WBL= World’s Best Lover.

[bullshitdetector @peekingduck_]

Sex tip #1: don’t try the pretzel position. There isn’t enough lube in the world, and I have never seen Benny cry until he tried it.

[bullshitdetector @peekingduck_]

Benny’s favorite midnight snack is my homemade truffle butter. It’s hot, gooey, and oh so yummy.

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Watching the McGregor v Khabib fight last night got me all hot and bothered. I just pictured my Benny living out his biggest sexual fantasy of being shirtless in close contact “fighting” with another white male, and my panties soaked.

[bullshitdetector @peekingduck_]

Benny is so cute. He insists on turning all the lights off before we play, um, battleship, so he have an excuse for putting it in the wrong hole.

[bullshitdetector @peekingduck_]

Riddle: He makes me wetter than the Nile, hotter than the Sahara, and hornier than the devil. Who is he?

[bullshitdetector @peekingduck_]

I’m taking a break from Twitter for a while to focus on my relationship with Benny. We’ve been so happy these past couple of days, and I need to be more attentive to his *ahem* member if this is gonna last.