Pelf On a Shelf

Just a pig on a shelf. Obsessed with reality TV and babes.

[Pelf On a Shelf @pelfington]

Plot twist

[Pelf On a Shelf @pelfington]

Remains to be seen if the majority of people are aware that "of" is not a verb.

[Pelf On a Shelf @pelfington]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Adam Gottschalk @AdamJGottschalk]

Chris and Johnny Drama #theBachelorette

[Pelf On a Shelf @pelfington]

Person at the bar: can I buy you a drink?
Me in the tone of Jordan: you're uninspiring
#BacheloretteMonday @BacheloretteABC

[Pelf On a Shelf @pelfington]

"what does Munch look like?"
"He looks like a person you would trust to protect you if he wasn't chasing after you."
#lawandordersvu #detectivemunch

[Pelf On a Shelf @pelfington]

Can men who compete in luge suck their own dicks? #PyeongChang2018

[Pelf On a Shelf @pelfington]

@itsmarytbh Will do it for free if you help me move

[Pelf On a Shelf @pelfington]

Watching season four of #Catfish. Do we know for sure that Whitney isn't the love child of Whoopi and Crazy Eyes?

[Pelf On a Shelf @pelfington]

"ugh. I love my 600 lb life. But I'm already all caught up 🙄" @itsmarytbh only watched critically acclaimed television

[Pelf On a Shelf @pelfington]

"It looks like we got more than just the tip." @SVUWritersRoom @nbcsvu loving the one liners #dickpics #iceTsaysno

[Pelf On a Shelf @pelfington]

When the internet won't let us finish @nbcsvu
"I'll sue! What else can I eat?" -@itsmarytbh

[Pelf On a Shelf @pelfington]

"He found out about the lasagna." Favorite sentence of @nbcsvu ever.

[Pelf On a Shelf @pelfington]

"I couldn't lift any prints off the healing crystal, but it was definitely the murder weapon." #lawandordersvu

[Evan Bass @ebassclinics]

Carly I are currently discussing what other intimate events to show the world. The live birth, cooking/eating the placenta, hm what else..?

[Evan Bass @ebassclinics]

Disturbing thought: When bachelor people get old & die their kids will probably just inherit their Instagram accounts instead of cash.

[Pelf On a Shelf @pelfington]

Maybe when Dean breaks Kristina's heart, she can cuddle with Ben's dog. #bachelorinparadise

[John Rambo @phoney_bologna]

#BachelorInParadise Ben Z has a dog