jula

i hate writing bios, God bless | she/her

[Samantha Ruddy @samlymatters]

I’m a butch lesbian. My wife is a femme lesbian. Men always try to talk to her and it makes me so jealous. Talk to ME. She’s not even enjoying you, bro. She’s so bored by you. I love Jackass and Quentin Tarantino movies. Stop bothering her and let’s go to Buffalo Wild Wings.

[beau i'spose 🦌 @frenchfrydream_]

the older I grow the more I dont play abt children like they're literally new here have some respect

[MP Arizona☀️🏳️‍🌈💙🌵🐕🐕‍🦺🫂💦🏜🐟🌴🎙🌎🌻♍️🌊 @AzPetrich]

Spent my morning at DMV getting my real ID but I forgot to bring my mom's umbilical cord and the Declaration of Independence.

[danlet @evildanevil]

That "omg u people cant do anything" tweet has done more for me than any therapist could

[rameen 🐝 @rameenwhile]

every time i see a painting im like wow i cant paint

[selinam @bennynotblanco]

this is like some episode of a show where the comic relief side character is separated from the group and when they find him he's the leader of a planet or something.

[ally @missmayn]

‘defund the police’ doesn’t mean cops get $0 it means they get $2.75 billion instead of $3.3 billion and the difference gets spent on mental healthcare professionals who will help you without shooting your dog.

[Why you should have a cat @ShouldHaveCat]

"Gentlemen, this is, demeowcracy"

[lunja 🕊️ @peacescycle]

FREE MY BOY! HE DID ALL OF IT BUT FREE HIM ANYWAY

[harry @oksunflowers]

sometimes you see the tip of the iceberg on some discourse and you just have to let it float by without further looking into it

[jules 🏴‍☠️🇵🇸antifa bus driver 💀🚍 @punishedjules]

*boomers* we used to play outside and jump the neighbors fence

*boomers now* fucking kids playing outside and laughing. I’m gonna shoot them

[hersch @tittyrespecter]

people who started adderall as a young child: “it stole a part of my soul which will never be returned to me”

people who started adderall as an adult: “everything i have and everything i am is granted by the blessings of my daily meth”