I’m a butch lesbian. My wife is a femme lesbian. Men always try to talk to her and it makes me so jealous. Talk to ME. She’s not even enjoying you, bro. She’s so bored by you. I love Jackass and Quentin Tarantino movies. Stop bothering her and let’s go to Buffalo Wild Wings.
this is like some episode of a show where the comic relief side character is separated from the group and when they find him he's the leader of a planet or something.
‘defund the police’ doesn’t mean cops get $0 it means they get $2.75 billion instead of $3.3 billion and the difference gets spent on mental healthcare professionals who will help you without shooting your dog.
people who started adderall as a young child: “it stole a part of my soul which will never be returned to me”
people who started adderall as an adult: “everything i have and everything i am is granted by the blessings of my daily meth”