Penguins Only

Penguins can’t fly but they do have feelings

[Penguins Only @penguins_only]

Penguins don’t have presidents. They have emperors.

[Penguins Only @penguins_only]

@alyssa_schoener A squall is a penguin’s favorite amount of snow. It is enough to cover their bottoms so their eggs are hidden but not too much that they will be freezing cold.

[Penguins Only @penguins_only]

In case anyone was wondering what the penguin equivalent was for @notkombuchagirl

[Penguins Only @penguins_only]

@Brittany_broski Penguin’s black feathers camouflage them from birds in the sky and white belly feathers camouflage them from predators in the ocean so which animal is really too powerful? Much to think about.

[Penguins Only @penguins_only]

I am a:

⚪️ man

⚪️ woman

🔘 Penguin seeking a Penguina

[Penguins Only @penguins_only]

@CaucasianJames

[Penguins Only @penguins_only]

@BigTucsonDad Friendly reminder that penguins are the opposite. The only thing they carry is happiness and you should always give them head pats and back scratches.

[Penguins Only @penguins_only]

@CaucasianJames Penguins love hot dogs and cold beer. Get into the Christmas spirit with them by doing both while watching the Penguins of Madagascar movie!

[Penguins Only @penguins_only]

@alyssa_schoener Penguins are cold and crazy just like you Alyssa. Any penguin would be happy to take the place of your dog today.

[Penguins Only @penguins_only]

@CaucasianJames On behalf of all penguins, have a good week James!

[Penguins Only @penguins_only]

@MichaelaOkla Penguins that live double lives will have these strange markings on their bodies that you can only see during a full moon. Michaela, does this confirm you are the Zodiac killer?

[Penguins Only @penguins_only]

@CaucasianJames Fact: Penguins are always butt ass naked while simultaneously always dressed in tuxedos.

[Penguins Only @penguins_only]

Penguins used to be as tall and as heavy as humans. If we still were it would be over for you bitches.

[Penguins Only @penguins_only]

@holy_schnitt Thank you for supporting penguin awareness Ellie. Your wonderful shirt does not go unnoticed!

[Penguins Only @penguins_only]

@MichaelaOkla Ironically, the cold weather is not the only cold thing penguins enjoy. Cold Play is also their favorite band. Thanks for keeping Cold Play relevant Michaela!

[Penguins Only @penguins_only]

@cottoncandaddy Penguins are very good at sliding on their bellies and therefore keeping their backs straight. Snowmen could easily do lines off of a penguins back.

[Penguins Only @penguins_only]

@pissboymcgee @CaucasianJames Fact: Male penguins always hit 1.000 when at the batting cages. Their flippers are large enough to cover the entirety of the strike zone. Female penguins are always impressed!

[Penguins Only @penguins_only]

@almondmilkhunni Penguins want to be loved but cannot be cuffed, due to the cuffs slipping off their flippers.

[Penguins Only @penguins_only]

@MichaelaOkla Penguins are too respectful to slap anyone’s butt. They would prefer a simple high-flipper!

[Penguins Only @penguins_only]

@CaucasianJames James, please think of the penguins in these scenarios. It would be impossible to fit their webbed feet into a rollerblade. They would much prefer skateboarding.