getting ready for bed and ending my routine with tying a lobster bib with a photo of a spider on it around my neck before lying down and open mouth snoring
dude remember that baby capuchin monkey we ordered so we could film it wearing clothes and eating oreos and shit? yeah it’s NOT having it, could you come over and help me flush this thing while it’s still small enough
peta supersoldier running into a red lobster and smashing the tank in act of protest but it’s not a very popular location so two lethargic crustaceans slowly slide out and die immediately upon hitting the floor
oh my god i have to find a way to move all of these fucking boxes of biden merchandise. my garage is packed so i had to start putting them in my house. ive been living out of my car. i thought i was gonna have a massive return on investment.