perardi

I'm a street walking cheetah with a heart full of napalm.

[perardi @perardi]

@VerizonSupport Your lack of a static-site generated status dashboard is a travesty. Loading a complex React map that barely functions under load is a travesty, and your devops team should be ashamed. This is a Tier 1 service. Customers deserve visibility.

[perardi @perardi]

@alexophile "Recursive self-improvement" with Henry Kissinger hopefully doesn't end up with an improved game plan for committing war crimes.

[perardi @perardi]

Celebrating 1 year since leaving my last job.

And yes, I still really am that bitter.

And yes, I really do have a hell of a screed saved up to posthumously fuck @stephen_wolfram with.

(But at least I can help talk my boyfriend through his work trauma!)

[perardi @perardi]

Disabling my Twitter, Facebook*, and Instagram accounts.

Got my phone if you need me.

Bye.

*well if the system would actually send a valid response there

[perardi @perardi]

Rambling.

I am turning 40 this year.

It’s time to accept I am moving back with family to take care of them while they die. Because while it’s an awful feeling to realize that’s my fate now….

[perardi @perardi]

No. Scratch that. That’s bitter and selfish Chris. They didn’t invite you because your were Black Dog-level depressed over the winter, and you fucked up went avoidant, and now you’re just…some filler character on the proscenium.

[perardi @perardi]

@ChicagoDomDaddy I have been both the soggy paper towel and the dog walker *at the same time*.

[perardi @perardi]

@bigdick_vers Been just fine for me.

[perardi @perardi]

I’m about to head to Mexico City, and my mom is terrified for me.

My argument that…

“Oh it can’t be that bad compared to Uptown—somebody got stabbed to death across the street at McDonald’s”

…didn’t particularly assuage her fears.

[perardi @perardi]

@ChicagoDomDaddy [eye twitch]

[perardi @perardi]

I hate when coworkers ask what I did over the weekend, because it’s tiring to come up with new white lies to cover up for the real answer:

“I photographed a lot of drag queens in basements.”

https://t.co/d5gMVHSQDk

[perardi @perardi]

Well. And I met these guys, too. But the dog is even better.

[perardi @perardi]

Life is moderately to severely terrible for me right now, it at least I met this dog today.

[perardi @perardi]

@pcasper2 I just walk everywhere with several knives and a terror dog. Saves a lot on transit fees.

[perardi @perardi]

@pcasper2 Shrug. Somebody has to pay for it, important long-term investment, but given Chicago metro area stagnant population growth plus Illinois pension debt obligations…Boomer pensions are going to come first.

[perardi @perardi]

Marjorie Taylor Greene is pure camp.

Jewish space laser boots the house down realness.

[just Google the ‘space laser’ bit, you’ll see…]

[perardi @perardi]

“And here I thought Republicans wanted to ban drag shows.”

[Washingtonian Problems @WashProbs]

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