Isildur's Bae

idk guys

[Oliver Darkshire 🌈 @deathbybadger]

ME: oh damn we are out of milk

TOLKIEN: you know what would solve this problem

ME: not this again-

TOLKIEN: if the true king sat once more upon the throne

[T @birduyen13]

To be a kitten with a strawberry blanket…

[Emma Bolden @emmabo]

i believe in one hard and fast universal writing rule: em dashes are amazing and you should use them whenever possible

[Eka Bakie @EkaBakie]

Don’t forget to leave cookies out for Earth, Wind, & Fire tonight

[Wes @wesjwill]

Buffy is so disrespectful 😭

[Kathleen Tarrant @thekathleent]

I think about this so much

[Jesse McManus @EssejSunamcm]

scrolling is really nauseating, may i suggest picking a favorite tweet and then spending some quality time looking at the space between the letters

[Isildur's Bae @perolike__]

@SaraCivian I lost it at the Pullen Park sign

[megan @meganwangart]

sometimes u just gotta lie on the floor

[Anti-Heroin Chic - Submissions open. @Heroin_Chic_Mag]

"I need you to not quote Psalm 139:13 at me from the embroidered plaque on your wall that you think is yarn store humor. I only need one skein, a hat-shaped bundle to protect my daughter from people staring at her, give her one last soft reminder of her mother..."

[chris morran @themorrancave]

With all the talk about Biden's student loan debt forgiveness plan, and how it compares to the $742B forgiven by the PPP Loan program, remember you can look up the details for all 11.5M approved PPP loans here (via @ProPublica):

https://t.co/9FLgcc6Y07

[Isildur's Bae @perolike__]

@miamingus Thank you for this. It hurts in a profound way. Even the thought of seeking new friends (which I want and need) who are taking precautions like I am is daunting. I think future friends probably feel similarly.

[𓆱 ashole ☪︎ ֶ֢࣪⋆𓄃 @ImmaterialGhost]

TRES leches? En esta economia??

[Isildur's Bae @perolike__]

Dawn Summers slanderers...your time will come🤺🤺

[- ali ! 🧪💫 @OSHIANSTARKS]

"go to hell" is basic. "i hope your favorite character gets massively mischaracterized by the internet and writers" is smart. it's possible. it's terrifying. it’s happened to me.

[Peaches🌻 @neicey12510]

Who was the Tom that did the first foolery?

[9VOLTWISEMAN @9voltwiseman]

WELCOME 2 DA CHEESE Z0NE

[А. Z. Fоrеmаn: Seriouѕ Рhіlоlοgy, Ѕіlly Веhаvіоr @azforeman]

The existence of Chicago style pizza implies the existence of MLA style pizza

[Christine Love @christinelove]

Really excited for the Lord of the Rings prequel series to finally answer all my big backstory questions, like "why was meat originally taken off the menu?"