perryyy

[Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente]

DEPORT!

[Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente]

78 degrees??? Welcome to communism people! Hope you enjoy!

[T-Pain @TPAIN]

I literally don’t play soccer

[Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente]

Hey Eric I’d never heard of you but quick google search said you were literally removed from House Intelligence Committee for having your office infiltrated by a Chinese spy named Fang Fang😭😭 Can’t even make it up. Maybe sit out the National Security lectures. Politicians man🫣

[Chase Passive Income @chasedownleads]

Guy came in for an interview.

Resume was patchy.

No degree.

He was sweating.

“Why should I hire you?" I asked.

He looked down.

“I just got out of prison. I did 10 years. I made a mistake when I was 19. Nobody will give me a chance. I will work harder than anyone you have because I have everything to lose."

Everyone needs a second chance, I thought.

Hired him for an entry level job.

He ended up murdering everyone at our company.

Luckily I called in sick that day.

Now he’s on death row.

And I learned a valuable management lesson that day:

Not everyone deserves a second chance.

[A🏹 @seattleiminyou]

Pleading insanity to a traffic violation

[Libs of TikTok @libsoftiktok]

“I’m not mayor anymore. Go f*** yourself” - Former NYC mayor Eric Adams to masked woman harassing him on a plane

[Lindsay Jones @bylindsayhjones]

he could have just fired them, this seems extreme

[Right Angle News Network @Rightanglenews]

BREAKING - The National Guard shooter has been identified as Rahmanullah Lakanwal, an Afghan illegal who entered the United States under the Biden administration in 2021 and reportedly yelled “Allahu Akbar” during the attack.

[merrily merrily merrily merrily life is but a drea @yrs______]

yes ios , allow papa john’s to always use my location

[ItsGundo! @GundamIsHere]

Remember this when a celebrity tires to tell you how to vote.

[Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente]

The #NYCMayoralDebate is the absolute bottom of the barrel politics. You got a guy who got kicked out of office for being a pervert and who already lost the primary vs a communist nepo baby, who has never had a job in his life, hates America, hates the police and is pro terrorist and a 3rd guy who actually loves NYC but has no shot at winning. I feel bad for every person who cares about NYC.

[5am @fxzkshvt]

dude i’m going home i can tell ur on tylenol

[hunter @hunter_hhhh]

in line for popcorn and just heard a girl say "i've never seen a movie before"

[hb @h3xenbrenner2]

I’m sorry dude I have to go pick up everyone I’ve ever met from the airport

[trash jones @jzux]

a poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me

[Rosé @2rose2ocean]

Can I rummage through your things?

[barrel rolls @barrel_rolls]

at the doctor’s office booing all the names being called that aren’t mine