One of the best lessons I learned growing up was to view relationships like a bank account. Every positive experience is a deposit. Every hurt, disagreement, or disappointment is a withdrawal. You can’t expect to keep taking money out without putting any back in.
I used to think being understanding made me mature. Whole time it made me tolerate things that were slowly breaking me. There’s a difference between giving grace and abandoning yourself to keep somebody comfortable.
The people who get upset when you forgive but don’t restore access - they didn’t want forgiveness; they wanted their access back. Skipping the accountability & going straight to proximity. But proximity without change is a second opportunity to do the same thing.
I saw a quote that said:
“If you knew how many people win when I win, you’d understand why my ambition was never greed.”
And whew…
That one stayed with me.