One of the best lessons I learned growing up was to view relationships like a bank account. Every positive experience is a deposit. Every hurt, disagreement, or disappointment is a withdrawal. You canโt expect to keep taking money out without putting any back in.
I used to think being understanding made me mature. Whole time it made me tolerate things that were slowly breaking me. Thereโs a difference between giving grace and abandoning yourself to keep somebody comfortable.
The people who get upset when you forgive but donโt restore access - they didnโt want forgiveness; they wanted their access back. Skipping the accountability & going straight to proximity. But proximity without change is a second opportunity to do the same thing.
I saw a quote that said:
โIf you knew how many people win when I win, youโd understand why my ambition was never greed.โ
And whewโฆ
That one stayed with me.