In San Francisco, the tech bros glue this to my head. You not allowed to see base reality in California. Too dangerous. The government give you special AR filters to avoid seeing anything bad.
me: i just smoked
IDIOT FRIEND: "was it indica or sativa?"
me: bro it was fucking crack
*dies of crack overdose*
*ambulance comes and brings me back to life*
me: holy shit wtf happened
paramedics: u smoking too much crack my boy 😂😂😂😂
me: damn. where my crack at tho
paramedic: *dies*
me: i guess i know where the rest of my crack went 😂😂😂
other paramedic: actually he had a serious history of heart problems and just had a heart attack
me: bruh
other paramedic: nah jk bro smoked ALL of your crack
me: that fucking fiend. anyway please dont charge me for saving my life
paramedic: why shouldn't i?
me: cuz i need to buy more crack mf 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
paramedic: ZOOWEEMAMA
rowley: wtf mike did u jus steal my joke
me: yeah
jeff kinney: yeah buddy ur getting sued for $500m
me: wtf 🤯 how am i going to buy anymore crack now???
el chapo: did someone say crack?
the 3 CIA vans all parked outside my house because they were going to commit a sting operation on me: EL CHAPO FREEZE U ARE UNDER ARREST FOR LIKE EVERY CRIME EVER
el chapo: zooweemama 😭😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😭😭😂😂😭😭😭😂😂😂😭
The End.
Andrew Callaghan on CNN: "Even CNN competes for views by running constant 24hr news cycles based upon fear, division, outrage & panic, probably like to sell ads."
Don Lemon: "I don't agree with what you're saying."