ur mom

my friend you suffer from the misplaced optimism of the doomed

[evelyn 🏳️‍⚧️ @Jahtri16]

new yorkers are you men or are you mice

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

You caught them. Mom and Dad were going to sell bibles and cell phones, golden sneakers, and NFTs, Chinese watches and cologne but wouldn’t you know someone beat them to the punch. They were left with only one choice write two books like every former First Lady and President has done in modern history.

[ur mom @peslow]

probably the most ‘alien interacting with a human in an endearing way’ thing he’s ever done up to this point

[Ben Golliver @BenGolliver]

Guillermo to Spurs star Victor Wembanyama: “Do you want to rub my belly for good luck?”

[chairman biden @chairmanbiden74]

happy pride

[Zachary @osuzack]

Imagine SGA leaving for the Spurs next year. Imagine how pathetic that would be.

Yeah, I’m not over it. Sue me.

[Matthew Peralta @_MatthewPeralta]

Love you no matter what happens today, @Lakers.

[Matt Reeves @mattreevesLA]

#SnowTires 🦇

[ur mom @peslow]

that fuckin turtle in over the hedge can kick ROCKS btw

[ur mom @peslow]

LEBRONNNNNNN

[nick wright @getnickwright]

During a playoff series where LeBron’s team was +650 underdogs and is up 2-0…

The Lakers just had 9 straight points which where:

•Impossible LeBron banked runner
•Bronny 3
•Bron to Bronny alley oop
•Impossible LeBron jumper

Entire sequence was unbelievable.

[Guppi @guppisound]

Oh im getting a call. DECLINED! jackin off!!!

[Tim Walz @Tim_Walz]

The President has lost his mind.

[Iran Army Media @IranArmyMedia]

Dear Americans,

Your President is a Pedophile

[ur mom @peslow]

makes sense on paper but then gets quirky when u think about hail mary opening with the discovery of two dead astronauts aboard their ship lol

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

The Artemis II crew got to watch ‘PROJECT HAIL MARY’ while in quarantine ahead of their mission to space.

“They sent us a link to view at home with our families… the movie is a pretty extraordinary example that we can all follow. We all thought it was uplifting and inspiring.”

[Who's Next @WhosNextShow]

My eyes so red

[samantha @mobilesuitsam]

they’re saying it’s a #brownboysummer

[ur mom @peslow]

boy i tell ya it does not get much better than this

[ur mom @peslow]

hm hm hm https://t.co/rXxIOGCQAm

[Rob Perez @WorldWideWob]

Worst trade in professional sports history.

[h @ruinsunflower]

happy 67th day of the year