Peter Heiniger

There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind. -C.S. Lewis

[Peter Heiniger @peter_heiniger]

@paul_heiniger AGREED

[Peter Heiniger @peter_heiniger]

“If an species is worthy of extinction, it is the pound mass.” -Sarah

[Peter Heiniger @peter_heiniger]

@paul_heiniger Agree to agree. You’re too flattering 💁🏽‍♂️

[Peter Heiniger @peter_heiniger]

Websites that let me login with Facebook will always get my business

[Peter Heiniger @peter_heiniger]

Follow @paul_heiniger if you wanna enjoy Twitter again 💯

[Eric Johnson @Eric_G_Johnson]

Me in Louisville: I’m bored and the weather sucks.

Me anywhere else: It’s pronounced “Lou-a-vul”. The 502. Home of the greatest athlete of all time and center of culture for the entire region. I bleed tap water. Heard of the Kentucky Derby? I was born in the infield.

[Peter Heiniger @peter_heiniger]

Does anyone else feel silly yelling punctuation into their phone question mark

[Peter Heiniger @peter_heiniger]

It’s weird that it’s acceptable to date 25 women at once if you’re on The Bachelor

[Peter Heiniger @peter_heiniger]

Guys I'm kinda tall in Mexico 🙆🏽‍♂️

[Peter Heiniger @peter_heiniger]

@MaddieRosendaul @emily_turi 😂😂😂😂 now everybody's in their own car 🤷🏾‍♀️

[Peter Heiniger @peter_heiniger]

I want to know why this sign was necessary in the rest stop bathroom stall of Heritage Heights, IN

[Peter Heiniger @peter_heiniger]

Huge shoutout to chic fil a for preparing me a meal at regular menu price also incredible customer service from @emily_turi wow THX FAM

[Peter Heiniger @peter_heiniger]

@t_whyla I honestly was thinking about this yesterday in my basement were u there if so that's weird

[Peter Heiniger @peter_heiniger]

Saw a bald eagle today so needless to say I feel pretty American

[Peter Heiniger @peter_heiniger]

Think of how confused Old McDonald's kids must have been with all the animals being named Bingo

[Eric Johnson @Eric_G_Johnson]

Lol Trump just gonna say it has millions of fake accounts and launch an investigation https://t.co/iw0zMcm9qY

[Peter Heiniger @peter_heiniger]

@Natalie_Jarrell apparently it doesn't mix well with anything 💁🏽

[Peter Heiniger @peter_heiniger]

Determining what's on TV:
1. Is it an advertisement?
2. Does it make you uncomfortable?
Ans: It's a fragrance commercial

[Peter Heiniger @peter_heiniger]

@Jaclyn_Heiniger heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

[Peter Heiniger @peter_heiniger]

Me @ 5pm: I will never eat again.
Me @ 7pm: ayy mom where them leftovers at?