parker

im 18 dude🫩
Calm down kid
its rage bait dont and bad takes on purpose

[parker @peterparkerongo]

@GunEagleFreedom @Kay52844395 Lil boy quit lying😭

[parker @peterparkerongo]

This is the corniest human ever

[Gun Eaglefreedom™ @GunEagleFreedom]

Stopped at 7-11 this morning for the usual two WHITE MONSTERS and a half dozen chicken taquitos.

Mid-30s guy behind me in line with skinny jeans and wire-rimmed glasses. Looked like he’d never changed a tire. Noticed my MAGA hat.

“Rough election last night, huh?” he smirked.

I turned around slowly.

“Son, let me explain something about WINNING.”

He crossed his arms skeptically and I said:

“Republicans may have lost a few unimportant seats, but President Trump has already fundamentally TRANSFORMED this country.”

He laughed. “So I guess you’re not getting that $5,000 victory dividend?”

I stepped closer.

“Actually, that money is MORE IMPORTANT NOW THAN EVER. Millions of hardworking patriots have already made significant financial commitments based on it.”

He looked confused.

“Like what?”

I stared him dead in the eye.

“A 2007 KAWASAKI ULTRA 250X JETSKI… SUPERCHARGED.”

The entire store went SILENT. Cashier just nodded. Impressed with my taste in personal watercraft.

“That’s a LOT of horsepower,” the skinny jeans guy conceded in shame.

I paid for my stuff with a Chime cash card and walked out of there an absolute legend.

Some victories don’t show up on ELECTORAL MAPS.
🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸

[parker @peterparkerongo]

@GunEagleFreedom U liar😭

[parker @peterparkerongo]

@Jackboymarlo7 @CCaillet18 @CFBHome Yall lost to Kentucky....

[parker @peterparkerongo]

@CornyNatalie 🫩

[parker @peterparkerongo]

@ophelinaa Morning dude

[parker @peterparkerongo]

@annathemost Dude this is insane for me to read while I'm trying to decide what ima do for the day

[parker @peterparkerongo]

@mim5mf Dude wtf

[parker @peterparkerongo]

@chelsiikitty Tf?

[parker @peterparkerongo]

@gothgirlAyln @colormoneyredd Okey dokie ma'am

[parker @peterparkerongo]

@azzysleeper Personality?

[parker @peterparkerongo]

@KondratiyGilham Idk seems like work

[parker @peterparkerongo]

@angelinamoaning Tf?

[parker @peterparkerongo]

@playdoee_ Yuck

[parker @peterparkerongo]

@justhrnyjess Ok

[parker @peterparkerongo]

@riri578680 🫩🫩

[parker @peterparkerongo]

@f0rbidd3nfru1t_ K

[parker @peterparkerongo]

@Beardog27833903 @Tay49009600 @kekzensky Im under ur bed

[parker @peterparkerongo]

@RijekaUna BUNNY BUNNY BUNNY

[parker @peterparkerongo]

@mercyslifee Um .... okay