carlitos

the birds are singing and i’m singing along | she/her

[carlitos @petitmarnier]

my mom is a savage, exhibit b

[TA✨ @DrPharmDMDTh]

IMPORTANT SIGNS FROM SURGERY

[carlitos @petitmarnier]

She also corrected herself and said, “actually, you’re often stressed but rarely overwhelmed”

[carlitos @petitmarnier]

I just called my mom bc I’m stressed and overwhelmed.
She said, “what’s wrong?”
I said, “I’m just a little stressed and overwhelmed.”
She said, “that’s not all that unusual”
🥲

[carlitos @petitmarnier]

She then proceeded to explain that she made ribs for her new dog Reina

[ֶָ֢ @lumonheiress]

my favorite out of context lines from derry girls, a thread:

[carlitos @petitmarnier]

when’s it gonna be my turn

[carlitos @petitmarnier]

“I need to take my bra off to tell you about the people I’m dating. I’m overstimulated by my clothing.” -V

[Jacob deNobel @Jacob_deNobel]

Laying next to my wife in bed and I hear her solemnly say “Oh, I see” to her phone.

I roll over and this is what she’s looking at

[Wholesome Side of 𝕏 @itsme_urstruly]

@AMAZlNGNATURE Here is the unedited video
https://t.co/3UaH4Iu3fh

[gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi]

I asked my doctor about prescribing me sleep medication and he asked if I had tried “giving yourself permission to sleep” instead and now I’m so mad I don’t think I’ll ever sleep again

[carlitos @petitmarnier]

it’s been 24 hours

[carlitos @petitmarnier]

does anyone else have a crush on zach woods

[carlitos @petitmarnier]

“remember when people had shame? let’s bring that back.” -christian, from afar

[Brandon Peplinski @MDsarecomplicit]

my intern just said the “protein creatinine ratio was kinda sus”

[carlitos @petitmarnier]

“i would commit federal crimes to have sex with henry cavill” -jake

[Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation @OKWildlifeDept]

@murderandmeds IDK WE DIDN’T MAKE THEM

[carlitos @petitmarnier]

i just received a like from a random pron bot on here which really took me back 🥸

[carlitos @petitmarnier]

today is pointless. fairly oddparents:)

[KC Davis @KCDavisSays]

Just saw this thread by @NomeDaBarbarian posted on tiktok and CAN A NEUROTYPICAL PERSON CONFIRM BC WHAT?!? You mean you do things w/o actively making a new choice to do it every time you do it and you dont have to exert the same energy to make yourself do it every time?

[Vivian @suchnerve]

ADHD person about to make a mistake: “I’ll put my drink in the freezer so it cools faster!”