☆ van ☆

you can always be thinner, look better • adult w/ ednos & severe anxiety who just yaps a lot

[☆ van ☆ @pettyelfdiary]

tw: edtwt & venting ☆
(12yrs clean of hard drugs)

🖤 paramore
❤️ 1D
🖤 thrifting
❤️ films
🖤 makeup
❤️ gaming

☆ DNI if
• ur >18
• u post uncensored sh/gore/hard drugs
• ur fatphobic/racist/homophobic/transphobic/anti-semitic

♡ / ⟳ to be mootz (18+)

[☆ van ☆ @pettyelfdiary]

@bunanaberri @batgirlbone Tell him it’s none of his fucking business

[☆ van ☆ @pettyelfdiary]

@Mari_macarons2 @corpsedecayy I’m not making fun of anybody for being a child 😭 missing the point entirely

[☆ van ☆ @pettyelfdiary]

It’s crazy I can spend years making progress in my mental health just to land back on the feeling of wanting to kill myself.

[☆ van ☆ @pettyelfdiary]

who wants to be friends on steps app? :3

[☆ van ☆ @pettyelfdiary]

I’m clean of hard drugs almost 14 years now so I’m trying to not relapse in that so I ended up relapsing SH instead lol

[☆ van ☆ @pettyelfdiary]

do you know how pathetic I feel self harming at age 30

[☆ van ☆ @pettyelfdiary]

well.

[☆ van ☆ @pettyelfdiary]

do things ever get better?

[☆ van ☆ @pettyelfdiary]

I just relapsed on self harm.

[☆ van ☆ @pettyelfdiary]

I finally did it.

Someone asked me “are you eating enough?”

[☆ van ☆ @pettyelfdiary]

I would do anything to be the size I was at 18 again

[☆ van ☆ @pettyelfdiary]

I can’t believe she dumped me 3 days before my birthday

[☆ van ☆ @pettyelfdiary]

maybe I’ll just starve myself until I die for real

[☆ van ☆ @pettyelfdiary]

What the fuck lmao

[⨾༊󠀺 А ⨾༊󠀺 @slavicwubslut]

The heaviness in my chest that I have been feeling is just unbearable. The weight of this grief, all for someone my heart knew without ever meeting. For those who feel this too, it’s because you’re experiencing Charlie’s Holy Spirit moving through you. It’s the ache of being connected as one body, one heart, in Christ. Charlie Kirk never used hate speech.He used speech they hated. Charlie was, and always will be, one of the most significant voices of our generation. He wasn’t perfect (nobody is) but he carried a fire, a desire for people to meet Jesus Christ, a hunger to share the Gospel, to always “give an answer” as the Bible calls us to do. He sought to serve, not for fame, but out of selfless sacrifice. He deeply loved his wife, his children and yet he was willing to risk comfort, security, even rest, so that others might see and follow light, hope, and truth. And he was murdered because his voice threatened darkness. Charlie spoke out for what many of us only feel inside, for what parents teach: standing firm, not following the crowd & for its approval. Charlie believed being different was beautiful, being bold was necessary, speaking truth was our duty, TO TAKE COURAGE. If this world punishes those qualities, how are we to teach our children to live with conviction, to walk in love and dignity? It is heartbreaking. It is terrifying. It is vile. It shows nobody is safe if simply raising one’s voice for truth can cost one’s life. Charlie walked in hope. He was light into despair, a beacon where many saw only shadows. He died not in hatred. Not in violence. But in truth. In a spiritual struggle that reaches beyond politics. We are in a battle not of flesh and blood alone, but against powers, principalities, the darkness that seeks to silence love. Christians are being silenced not for wrongdoing, but for standing in the light. We all need to get right with God because tomorrow… isn't promised. If there was a moment to wake up, THIS IS IT RIGHT HERE. If ever there was a moment to believe that society, that human kindness, that faith, that our call to love and truth matters, IT IS NOW. Because without that belief, we lose ourselves, the very purpose God intended for us. God didn’t make us to normalize evil, to live in fear, to love without compassion, to ignore justice. He created us for light, for love, for purity, for faith, for freedom. He called us to walk this earth not in darkness, but as reflections of his glory, to spread hope, mercy, and redemption. Jesus Christ died on the cross for us, for our sin, our mistakes, our brokenness, so that WE might be reconciled to God, so that we might have life in fullness. And how painful it is to see faith, love and truth being destroyed, silenced, disrespected for reasons that attempt to twist goodness into guilt, strength into danger. It is not just disrespect, it is desecration. A betrayal of the very blood that was shed for us. A rejection of the mercy we were gifted. It is a direct offense against the sacrifice Jesus Christ made, a crucifixion of truth all over again. This will be one of biggest tragedies in history but this is not just tragedy. This is a call to stand, to speak, to hold fast to what is good and true. Recognizing our humanity means admitting our weakness, our need for grace, our dependence on something greater than ourselves, that is Jesus. If hate doesn’t begin to change, if love doesn’t rise up, then every generation will inherit bitterness, silence, fear. We carry hatred in our cells, in our stories, in our genes, unless we choose otherwise. If this path continues, we won’t just see more darkness, the balance will tip. Love, peace, and purity will be the rare exception. That’s the reality we’re heading toward. And if you really think about it, what that means for our future, our kids, our souls, it’s terrifying.

[☆ van ☆ @pettyelfdiary]

now that my foot is normal (mostly) I can start exercising again! I gained so much weight when I was not allowed to walk on it and when it hurt to walk. Still does sometimes but I’m pushing through lol

[☆ van ☆ @pettyelfdiary]

is there a free apps like MyFitnessPal?

[☆ van ☆ @pettyelfdiary]

chat I know this is embarrassing but I’ve taken 3 doses of clearlax in the last 3 days and nothing has happened

edtwt help what’s wrong with me

[☆ van ☆ @pettyelfdiary]

@jazzana_ Idk! I live in New Hampshire and so does she so maybe that’s why

[☆ van ☆ @pettyelfdiary]

no fucking way