Dave Nelson

Former unofficial writer for David Letterman and Phil Hartman

[Dave Nelson @phabfor]

@carlreiner Carl, have you seen this? You’re mentioned. https://t.co/awChOf6XyP

[Dave Nelson @phabfor]

I try to read comments on anyone’s tweet and this is what I get every time. What’s up with that?
#tweetsarentloadingrightnow

[Dave Nelson @phabfor]

@JewdyGold That’s an insult to Satan.

[Dave Nelson @phabfor]

@TheAtlantic @JeffreyGoldberg @mccrummens And God said “Hey, thanks a lot for buying me something that’s already mine.”

[Dave Nelson @phabfor]

@kylegriffin1 @lawofruby You sure they weren’t just deciding what to have for lunch?

[Dave Nelson @phabfor]

@jaketapper Forget it, Jake. It’s Steve Martin.

[Dave Nelson @phabfor]

@ThatEricAlper

[Dave Nelson @phabfor]

@JoshMalina My screenwriter nephews , Erich & Jon Hoeber (RED, RED2, The Meg, Meg2, Battleship…) on the picket line. Keep an eye out for them!

[Dave Nelson @phabfor]

@kelly_carlin What would your dad say?

[Dave Nelson @phabfor]

@alfranken @SRuhle @11thHour Run again, Al!!!

[Dave Nelson @phabfor]

@mrbobodenkirk My screenwriter nephews , Erich & Jon Hoeber (RED, RED2, The Meg, Meg2, Battleship…) on the picket line. Keep an eye out for them!

[Dave Nelson @phabfor]

@SacramentoKings Fox giving the Warriors the finger tonight!

[Dave Nelson @phabfor]

Fox giving Warriors the finger tonight. #Kings #Warriors #Playoffs

[Dave Nelson @phabfor]

@sethmeyers I wanted to write a poem commemorating today’s big news but I can’t think of anything that rhymes with “Tucker.”

[Dave Nelson @phabfor]

@atrupar Doesn’t matter if his foot was being held. He didn’t need to stomp on the guy after it was freed. What an asshole.

[Dave Nelson @phabfor]

@does_not_tweet @wnyxnewsradio @DaveSFoley Lovitz?

[Dave Nelson @phabfor]

@jaketapper @NewYorker

[Dave Nelson @phabfor]

@JoJoFromJerz

[Dave Nelson @phabfor]

@mmpadellan Reminds me of a TV preacher. “Send whatever money you have. And if you don’t have any, pray!!!”

[Dave Nelson @phabfor]

@CalltoActivism Good for her!