John Splett

I'm a modern day Renaissance Man! Network Engineer by day, headbanger nights and weekends. Lifelong @whitesox fan #HighlandParkStrong

[John Splett @phanreign]

@BaseballBros Isn't that the way you get someone out in traditional whiffleball?

[Governor Newsom Press Office (parody) @AwesomeNewsom]

HEY DUMBURGER. IF YOU FINISHED 2ND GRADE YOU’D KNOW YOU CAN'T LOWER BY 600%. MAX IS 100%. I.E. YOUR APPROVAL DROPPED BY 100%. YOUR CANKLES GREW BY 100%. YOU'RE 100% IN THE EPSTEIN FILES. YOUR SPEECH WAS 100% LOCO. YOU'RE 100% SCUMMIER & DUMBER THAN ME. --GCN (C IS FOR CALCULUS.)

[John Splett @phanreign]

@midwestern_ope 3 I think we're most adapted to climate change

[Rick Wilson @TheRickWilson]

WAIT.

HOLD up.

You're telling me @MAGAMilf42069DD isn't really a Christian 1A 2A Trump fangirl but instead is a shitposting, chainsmoking Macedonian incel?

Get OUT.

[😱 Scary Larry 😱 🇺🇦✊🏻🇺🇸🗽 @aintscarylarry]

This is gold. Watch trump’s representative to the United Nations Mike Waltz get absolutely OWNED by the representative from Cuba for being the stupid fucking disrespectful MAGA dipshit that he is. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[John Splett @phanreign]

NEW MUSIC FRIDAY 🤘
Spotify https://t.co/MJFGxH8ZDW
iTunes https://t.co/izLaUJpd1G
Apple Music https://t.co/D7jbcSVoUU
Youtube https://t.co/7vMd7rf2vc
Amazon https://t.co/osg4yVHsvS
Pandora https://t.co/Kjb2mIGlAG
#timeofourlives #newmusicfriday #ballroomblitz

[Keith Edwards @keithedwards]

Kristi Noem been real quiet ever since this dropped

[Gavin Newsom @GavinNewsom]

So you don’t want:
- lower homicide rates
- lower gun death rates
- lower taxes for working families
- lower maternal mortality rates
- higher GDP
- higher wages
- higher life expectancy
- free pre-kindergarten
- free community college
- free school meals
- And total domination in every major industry.

Time for a bathroom break, Nance.

[Gavin Newsom @GavinNewsom]

Kids running from tear gas, crying on the phone because their mother was just taken from the fields.

Trump calls me “Newscum” — but he’s the real scum.

[Jim Norton @JimNorton]

Two idiot @BlackSabbath fans in front of the waternill that started it all. @Mrjimflorentine and I took a 2 hour Uber ride to take pics in front of the barn from the first Sabbath album.

[Brian Tyler Cohen @briantylercohen]

I seem to remember a clip just like this that got shared a billion times during the Biden era.

[Ron Filipkowski @RonFilipkowski]

That fall popped all his neck rolls out and everything. Tough day.

[Tom Joseph @TomJChicago]

He won’t finish his term.

[PaulleyTicks @PaulleyTicks]

Dark Brandon works in mysterious ways ;)

(WAAAAAAAAIT for it)

#DonaldTrump

[Acyn @Acyn]

President Trump stumbles while attempting to board Air Force One

[Ron Filipkowski @RonFilipkowski]

Greatest press conference of all-time.

[Jeff Timmer @jefftimmer]

Here is a list of just a few of the things Trump doesn’t understand:

Business
Economy
Trade
Federal Law
National Security
English
Monetary Policy
Stock Markets
U.S. Constitution
Tax Policy
Federal Spending
History
Current Events
Object Permanence
Oath of Office
Religion
Mirrors

[Cory Booker @CoryBooker]

I may be tired and a little hoarse, but as I said again and again on the Senate floor, this is a moment where we cannot afford to be silent, when we must speak up.

What’s most clear to me tonight is that this is just the beginning, that Americans across this country, no matter their title or party, are ready to be heard.

I believe that history will show we rose to meet this moment.

It will show we did not let the chaos and division go unanswered.

It will show that when our president chose to spread lies and sow fear, we chose to come together, to work together, and to rise together.

[Bill Madden @maddenifico]

In an act of bravery reminiscent of the acts of courage that periodically occurred in 1930s Germany, this happened at the Kennedy Center. 🙌🙏💪👏👊👇