Cody

Just this guy, you know?

[Cody @pharynx007]

@sarahhepola I know how to and i am able to change my tire for a spare. But I do not know how to fix the tire itself.

I go to a professional to fix or get a new tire.

[The Last Great Arrakian Dynasty @cruelsardaukar]

The funniest part of Coruscant isn’t that it has one trillion people.

The funniest part is that the writers picked “one trillion” because it sounded like an unfathomably high number when actually for a planet with a 3-kilometer-thick built environment that translates to there being only 1,416 people per cubic kilometer of built environment, or 807 people per Manhattan’s worth of built environment.

That’s not 807 in all of Central Park, btw, that’s 807 people in the entirety of Manhattan from Battery City to Washington Heights. (Normal daytime population of this area - 4 million, so remove all but 1 person in 5,000)

[The Gay Edit ☆ @TheGayEdit]

It's that simple ✨

[ZZ Santa Chevy Cruze™️ #SmokeFleet🟦 @Danphillipsresi]

Exactly the way it goes.🤣🤣🤣

[sora 🖤🔆 @BlackheartSora]

happy pride month 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

[Bennie🕊️ @Bennieeexyz]

A customer at the library asked me a question I wasn't prepared for.

Customer: Excuse me.

Customer: Why does this machine require flesh?

Me: ...what?

Customer: This machine.

Customer: I am touching it, but it does not work.

Customer: Is because... flesh?

At this point I was trying very hard to figure out whether I had accidentally wandered into a horror movie.

Then she held up her hands.

She was wearing gloves.

Me: Oh!

Me: The touchscreen.

Me: Right.

Me: Yeah, it probably can't detect your fingers through the gloves.

Customer: Ah.

Customer: Okay.

Customer: Sorry to bother.

Me: No, no.

Me: That's the best thing I've heard all week.

She laughed.

The machine worked.

And I thought that was the end of it.

It was not.

Now whenever one of our library computers stops working, someone inevitably says:

Staff: It requires flesh.

Staff: The machine must be fed.

Another staff member: Who's volunteering?

So thanks to one perfectly innocent question, our library now sounds like a cult every time the self-checkout freezes.

[Cody @pharynx007]

@ratxgurl Hell, at my job as long as it doesn't take more than half the day, we don't even have to use PTO.

We just leave and come back as we please.

Admittedly we do sometimes need to work more than 40 hours in a week, so it usually balances out, unless you don't keep track.

[Bill Madden @maddenifico]

In case anyone was wondering what the judge's ruling against Trump in the E. Jean Carroll case was.

[MJdowntheshore @MJdowntheshore]

And that's the truth.

[Atheist Girl @iamAtheistGirl]

need another reason to hate religion?

34 states + DC still have religious exemptions in their child abuse or neglect statutes that protect parents who withhold medical care from children for religious reasons.

in most states
parents are allowed to abuse their children in the name of religion.

read it again
https://t.co/J1HwpsmW5R

[Annie? Rauwerda? @anniierau]

"why use google?" webpage from 1999

[Bernie Sanders @BernieSanders]

A federal judge just ordered Trump’s name removed from the Kennedy Center because it honors JFK, not Donald Trump.

America deserves a president, not a narcissist-in-chief who treats public office as a vehicle for self-promotion and personal enrichment.

[Antifa_Ultras @ultras_antifaa]

“No nazis. No oligarchs. No kings. Eat the rich.”

[Alex & Books 📚 @AlexAndBooks_]

Andrew Tate: "Reading books is for losers...Books are a total waste of time."

Kanye West: "I am not a fan of books...I am a proud non-reader of books."

Clavicular: "I don't really read books...you could just get the information through summaries and articles."

Don't be like these guys.

Pick up a book today.

[Fermat's Library @fermatslibrary]

Here's a map of Mars if, like Earth, it were covered by water on 71% of its surface.

[Tom Celica™ @thetomcelica]

I swear to God it's every year

[Cody @pharynx007]

@vuse_lover I wear a mask at work all the time, and I've only gotten shit from the director and VP of our company.

Like, I'm *so* sorry that I don't want to get anyone sick, or get sick myself.

[James Tate @JamesTate121]

So much for that American exceptionalism, but you just keep on voting against your own interests MAGA.

[𝒦𝑒𝓁𝓁𝓎࿎☽ @idropFbombs]

Why is this so satisfying?!