people don't believe you when you say you're drowning.
as long as you're still showing up.
as long as you're breathing, answering texts,
doing the bare minimum, they assume you're okay.
when you say you're tired, they hear lazy.
when you say you're scared for no reason, they say you're overthinking.
when your chest tightens and your mind won't shut up,
they call it stress, nerves, something you should be able to control by now.
panic attacks get brushed off.
depression gets softened into moods, something easier to ignore.
you try to explain it in pieces because saying the whole truth feels like too much, and each time you do, it gets brushed aside, minimized, misunderstood. you get quieter each time you're not taken seriously. and nothing changes.
not until something finally breaks,
not until it's loud and ugly and undeniable and only then do people say they had no idea, like you weren't asking to be seen the entire time.
I think I lost my spark. I don’t talk as much, I keep to myself, and I’ve mastered the art of distance. It’s not that I’m mad or bitter. I just do not have the energy to show up the way I used to. Somewhere along the way, I slipped into this “I don’t care” phase..