Philbert Wallace

$GIGA - Philbert, Father of 9

[Philbert Wallace @philbert_phart]

Spotted a small caravan of gypsies on a coastal beach in Ireland. Legitimately unbelievable, huge freak show and I’m uncomfortable.

[Philbert Wallace @philbert_phart]

*nudging the stranger next to me at the Holocaust museum*
“you actually believe any of this shit?”

[Philbert Wallace @philbert_phart]

Poop and then poop and more poop and then even more. When does this end?

[Philbert Wallace @philbert_phart]

Imagine a prank show like punk’d but it was random homeless migrants doing Pap smears on women. Then for the results they just scream foreign chants and assault them

[Philbert Wallace @philbert_phart]

I’ve got a throat full of clam chowder

[Philbert Wallace @philbert_phart]

@trey_is_jerry Therapy? I was thinking killing themselves ✅

[Philbert Wallace @philbert_phart]

Uber drivers aggressively complaining about traffic during a ride should get them suspended. Also, shouldn’t have your child in the car during a ride. In case you can’t tell, having a terrible Uber experience right now.

[Philbert Wallace @philbert_phart]

Lamar Jackson, burn in hell

[Philbert Wallace @philbert_phart]

The devil Novak is dead. Glory be to God

[Philbert Wallace @philbert_phart]

Only reason I poop is to eat more

[Philbert Wallace @philbert_phart]

My glorious goat king Mahomes is going to fucking spunk all over this league

[Philbert Wallace @philbert_phart]

@AdamSchefter @DVNJr @TishaESPN Saquon Barkley sold me the worst seats in the house for $20,000 each. Also told me to fuck my own cock when I complained after.

[Philbert Wallace @philbert_phart]

@Space_b0y_ Hating on other artists when this is your work…uhhhh im going to shove my balls into my grundle and squat

[Philbert Wallace @philbert_phart]

Dinner from last night turned into an infinite poop glitch today

[Philbert Wallace @philbert_phart]

Coldplay Jumbotron incident but instead of a warm embrace its them sharing a simultaneous orgasm while that assistant fists herself.

[Philbert Wallace @philbert_phart]

JANNIK

[Philbert Wallace @philbert_phart]

There’s a squid on my tip I’m about to fucking iiiiiink

[Philbert Wallace @philbert_phart]

Tony Parker was basically the Bruce Wayne of San Antonio

[Philbert Wallace @philbert_phart]

Office chair to beg #dialed