Honest Restaurant Manager

From Relationships to Restaurants and everything in between.

[Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_]

Just had a guest wave me over to order something while their server was at the other end of their table taking orders.

The end times are truly here

[Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_]

A lot of murders are planned at the server station.

[Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_]

Manager: HANDS!

Servers: Do you hear something?

Manager: I NEED HANDS!

Servers: No I don’t think so…

Manager: I NEED A FOOD RUNNER

Servers: Place must be haunted.

[Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_]

Some of you haven’t closed, gotten historically intoxicated, stayed out until 5am, rolled in late to open just to get mad at the close job and it shows.

[Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_]

Sometimes you watch the night crew roll in and you just know that no real work is going to get done tonight

[Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_]

Don’t tell me you can’t accomplish anything. I’ve seen a line cook who has been wearing the same torn up pants for 3 months straight start dating a 3rd year nursing student because he knew when to drop chicken strips in the fryer.

[Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_]

Me: Farewell innocent one. The light of life in your eyes will soon fade. Before long your dreams of a bright future will be replaced by bad decision and the thirst for the instant gratifications of this world.

New Employee: what?

Me: I said this is your trainer, Jessica.

[Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_]

I like when you’re cutting a guy off and he’s like “Do you have any idea how much money I spend here?” And it’s like:

Ya man, and we’ll be fine without your 3 rye cokes and 5% tip.

[Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_]

Restaurants are dangerous because you’re 21 and having so much fun and then boom, you’re 40.

[Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_]

Restaurant staff have it made. We work with all of our best friends, all we do is eat and drink and we have a reason to get out of every family holiday.

[Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_]

Hell hath no fury like a middle aged person who has to wait like 20 minutes

[Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_]

Me: The manager has been in the office for 3 hours playing on his phone, the kitchen crashed and the bartender threw my chit in the garbage because he’s too drunk to work. If I don’t make 20% tonight I quit.

Customer: ….I just want some mozzarella sticks.

[Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_]

Calling in sick for work:

School: We will get a substitute

Office: can you work from home?

Restaurant: Put the surgeon on the phone.

[Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_]

Why you work in a restaurant by age:

15-18: Favour/first job/MomPop
19-24: Pay for school/Fun
25-29: OMG I make so much money I’m never leaving.
30-32: This feels like I made a mistake
33+: The Void.

[Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_]

Rude people really need to understand that leaving and not coming back is not a threat, It’s a tease.

[Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_]

If you make $300 in a night and then sit down at the bar top after and spend $100. You made $200 and drank for free.

[Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_]

Restaurant staff will literally go a week with 4 hours of sleep, only consuming French fries, red bull, wine and bar garnish and say things like “I don’t know why I’m so tired”

[Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_]

One day in the distant future, some archeologist is going to find a servers order pad and they will start some new religion based on the illegible script that doesn’t seem to match any known human language.

[Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_]

99% of Restaurants: “Chef may I?”
99% of Restaurants: “Yes Chef”
99% of Restaurants: “HEARD!”

Always that one Restaurant:
Sup Kitchen Daddy?

[Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_]

Don’t mind me, I’m just getting a little emotional thinking about how lucky my workplace is that they get to experience my presence on a daily basis