That’s not my name

Pip is hard to spell #socialmedia and #greyhound enthusiast (not the bus)

[That’s not my name @philippalees]

@TrainsInfo You’re doing great 🙌

[That’s not my name @philippalees]

@eriennelette Omg 😆

[That’s not my name @philippalees]

@eriennelette Ok I’m going to buy the tracksuit too brb

[That’s not my name @philippalees]

@eriennelette Omg you look shit hot. Strong Carmen vibes

[That’s not my name @philippalees]

Fact: Women get 10% more out of every workout because we have to remove a sweaty sports bra.

[Nour Haydar @NourHaydar]

#BREAKING Advocate and sexual assault survivor Grace Tame is the 2021 Australian of the Year. At 15 Grace was groomed and raped by her math teacher, now 26 she has used her experience to push for legal reform and public awareness. https://t.co/nkufXXv3ro #ausoftheyear

[That’s not my name @philippalees]

Grace’s fight is so important and empowering. 💪#letherspeak

[AusoftheYearAwards @ausoftheyear]

Congratulations to your 2021 Australian of the Year, Grace Tame! #ausoftheyear #reflectrespectcelebrate

Thanks to our Australian of the Year category partner, @auspost

[Hilltop Hoods @hilltophoods]

We’ve evacuated. Told my daughters (2 & 4) to only pack what they needed and wouldn’t want to lose.
Amongst other things I’ve just found rocks in the 2yo’s backpack (not even good rocks) and the 4yo packed a framed picture of herself.

[That’s not my name @philippalees]

@eriennelette Oh nice! I remember how wet they would get if the ground was even remotely damp 😨

[That’s not my name @philippalees]

🍳🍳🍳

[That’s not my name @philippalees]

Hi @AFL and @Ticketmaster is it possible to get spectator tickets to the @melbournefc game tonight? 👍👹

[That’s not my name @philippalees]

@noelj13

[That’s not my name @philippalees]

How many of you have NFI where you put your keys three weeks ago and have decided that no one would be dumb enough to try to rob a house during isolation. Just me?

[That’s not my name @philippalees]

“Hey Siri, what day is it?”

“You asked me this five minutes ago.”

[That’s not my name @philippalees]

This virus, this situation, the isolation & uncertainty.

It has all made me realise...

I need more track pants.

[Benjamin Law 羅旭能 @mrbenjaminlaw]

For comparison.

(via @maxopray's @7ampodcast newsletter, The Briefing)

[That’s not my name @philippalees]

To the kids next door screaming incessantly.
I know this is frustrating but it’s time you grew up and screamed internally like the rest of us.

[That’s not my name @philippalees]

Explaining to my housemate about Netflix Party.

“They should do that for Pornhub!”

[That’s not my name @philippalees]

ACTOR1: I need to tell you something

*interruption*

ACTOR 2: what did you need to tell me?

ACTOR 1: it can wait

ACTOR 2: Ok

ME: LITERALLY WITH HUMANITY AT STAKE I’D INSIST YOU TELL ME IMMEDIATELY EVEN IF IT’S JUST THAT YOU USED MY PRICEY SHAMPOO

[That’s not my name @philippalees]

An @australiapost man called me because he couldnt find our house to leave a parcel. He asked for directions, then left my parcel and covered it up because he said it was about to rain ❤️
Legit said “I’m not you’re average postman”