Phil

Take a peak into my beautiful mind. I promise to never write on your mirrors.

[Phil @philsosophies]

Think inside the box. While everyone else is running around outside, I'll be taking advantage of how empty it is in here.

[Phil @philsosophies]

If someone asks you why you aren't wearing a Halloween costume, just tell them you're a homicidal maniac.

[Phil @philsosophies]

If you ever get pulled over for speeding, just tell the cop you were listening to the Top Gun soundtrack.

[Phil @philsosophies]

Always get an extra fortune cookie.

[Phil @philsosophies]

I always keep a rubber hand with me just incase someone asks me to lend it to them.

[Phil @philsosophies]

If your internal voice doesn't sound like Morgan Freeman, you're doing it wrong.

[Phil @philsosophies]

Magic should cause a gathering. It's the best.

[Phil @philsosophies]

@JakeWDavis @DanRyckert Dreams come true, Jake.

[Phil @philsosophies]

Peeing in the shower saves the environment thousands of gallons of water. Do your part.

[Phil @philsosophies]

The amazingness of break dancing can not be overstated.

[Phil @philsosophies]

No matter how much weight you lose, someone else will find it.

[Phil @philsosophies]

You're never as cool as when you spontaneously start hacky sacking.

[Phil @philsosophies]

Baby boys don't actually bounce.

[Phil @philsosophies]

It is acceptable for 80% of your toilet paper to be used as a safety buffer.

[Phil @philsosophies]

You can never have too many pillows.

[Phil @philsosophies]

Store brand Nutella just isn't the same. This isn't creamed corn, people.

[Phil @philsosophies]

If you love something, set it free. Unless it's a tiger.

[Phil @philsosophies]

Watch a sunrise at least once a day.

[Phil @philsosophies]

Take a lesson from the parakeets. If you are very lonely, just eat in front of the mirror.

[Phil @philsosophies]

Cold today... Hot tamale.