Pump House Monster

Husband and Father here to laugh, learn, and say inappropriate things at the wrong time. 🇺🇸

[theRoddick @OriginalRoddick]

I'm sorry, thought this was still 'Murica

[Pump House Monster @PHMounster]

@C_3C_3 Easy come, easy go

[Pump House Monster @PHMounster]

@redsteeze With 19 year old kids…

[Rock @TheCensoredRock]

If someone made a joke about inbred hillbillies, I don't get offended because I'm not an inbred hillbilly.

If someone made a joke about gym whores and you got offended, I have some bad news for you

[EducatëdHillbilly™ @RobProvince]

What doesn’t matter: money, height, looks

What does matter: being with her every second of her breast cancer appointments. Taking a second job when her health fails and she has to stop work. Sacrificing vacations & hobbies to cover medical bills. Her helping you to the bathroom because your spine is so fucked up you can’t walk. Selling your truck to pay for her ring. Her saying it’s gonna be ok when you’re out of work. I could go on but when shit goes sideways you’re not going to care about height or looks or any of that superficial crap.

Listen to me or don’t. I don’t care. But you’ll know I’m not lying very soon.

[Pump House Monster @PHMounster]

@RobProvince 10% are probably gay and don't count.

[Pump House Monster @PHMounster]

@Shawn_Farash It's more about the judgment he and his staff have about messaging and the optics of a person wanting to lead and represent Texas. His mental health and perspectives have always been flawed.

[Pump House Monster @PHMounster]

@RobProvince Congrats on finding “the one”

[JD Vance @JDVance]

Happy Columbus Day!

[Pump House Monster @PHMounster]

@DrunkRepub Sending me to Ohio would depress me even more.

[Lara Logan @laralogan]

These letter are well deserved. Nothing quite like the Trump accounts has ever been done in America & if the media did not hate the President so much, you would know more about this.

[Pump House Monster @PHMounster]

@pvtjokerus In Texas we carry a sidearm for this, my choice is a 357 revolver. Backup choice is a Sig 1911 45.

[✪ Evil Te𝕏an ✪ @vileTexan]

When is flu season @grok

And have there been many reported cases here in Texas lately? (Other than a certain gay U.S. Senate candidate)

[Pump House Monster @PHMounster]

@aelfred_D He had slightly better odds than with the tiger.

[Gummi @gummibear737]

Gen X are the only people that make any kind of sense on social media

The others are all psychologically fragile

[Jen @SweetTexanRose]

Jeeezus, Satan doesn’t even want her, so we’re all stuck with her.

[e-beth @ebeth360]

Follow these #minionshappyhour participants!
@icouldbeahacker
@Based_Bucee
@jcorrigan22
@DanielRust8
@robcvernon
@MrDoebean
@Big5Army
@RobertBechtel16
@Deedo_2026
@CBove1
@JustSayinFFS
@MinamtheD
@PolybiusChamp
@claystaggs
@Kateser
@netchord

[Sunny @sunnyright]

Notably, no Biblical citation is attempted here.

[Pump House Monster @PHMounster]

Raising rum and pineapple juice in salute to our neighbors along the emerald beaches of the Gulf of America. Stay safe!
#MinionsHappyHour
@ebeth360

[Kenny Webster @KennethRWebster]

Talarico wants to make decisions for millions of people but he still shares a bank account with his mom, has never held down a respectable job for a long period of time, and hasn’t been seen or heard from in two weeks.