❁Phoenix❁

•• San Juan Islands ••

[❁Phoenix❁ @phoen10]

Me: has anyone seen my pencil skirt?
My mom: maybe it got erased.

[❁Phoenix❁ @phoen10]

@peter_Dsmith 😍😍😍😍😍

[The Chosen One @KiDCuDi]

I dont know if I ever told yall this but, this was right when the acid started kickin in and I couldn't help myself haha so no I wouldn't say I was drunk just trippin balls. @whoisMGMT thanx for lettin me groove w you. My face was melting and I felt so fuckin free!!

[❁Phoenix❁ @phoen10]

*Adds things to my to-do list that I’ve already done and then checks them off my list to appear more productive

[❁Phoenix❁ @phoen10]

@sadierae4 @gunnarr9 I’ve never seen something so relatable 😂

[❁Phoenix❁ @phoen10]

Nervous for Jamie to see our tv bill...I may or may not have rented a bunch of Halloween movies. First on my list: Hocus Pocus. Also this boy has never seen Beetle Juice..smh.

[❁Phoenix❁ @phoen10]

Had a dream I went over to @chrissyteigen’s house and had some blueberries. And she came home and was so upset with me, and then accused me of stealing her lighter fluid.

[❁Phoenix❁ @phoen10]

Why do people ruin food by adding peas?

[❁Phoenix❁ @phoen10]

Well I blacked for the first time today.... yay France.

[❁Phoenix❁ @phoen10]

Marit was Micheal Scott today in the elevator. #everymanforthemselves https://t.co/kFGbyRFVyf

[❁Phoenix❁ @phoen10]

Stuck in an elevator....this is my nightmare.

[❁Phoenix❁ @phoen10]

Sitting eating bruschetta and drinking wine while Jamie plays in a golf tourney...I think I can get used to the golf wife life. ⛳️🍷

[alex meyer @alexmeyerrr]

I really loved the idea of moving and re-decorating until I realized one pillow is literally $25

[❁Phoenix❁ @phoen10]

I’ve got some pretty pups in my life. 🤪

[❁Phoenix❁ @phoen10]

Did I have an emotional breakdown last night? Yes. And did I wake up to two empty bags of potato chips in my bed? Yes. And am I going to go do guilt cardio this morning? No.

[❁Phoenix❁ @phoen10]

And if anyone has tips on "how to NOT look like i need jesus" those would also be welcome.

[❁Phoenix❁ @phoen10]

Today I served a group of old ladies at the bar, and one said "In lieu of a tip today I have a gift for you young lady, *whips out bible* you look like you could use Jesus" ...so if anyone wants to buy a bible let me know so I can pay my rent, thanks.

[christina rotondo @christinaroto]

my mom put oil on her bird feeder to keep squirrels from stealing the bird food and