phoenix. 🏳️‍🌈

"How long is forever?"
"Sometimes, just one second."

[phoenix. 🏳️‍🌈 @phoenix_lite]

"Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night."

[phoenix. 🏳️‍🌈 @phoenix_lite]

My heart hurts so much from this last week. It’s going to hurt for a long time. The amount of grief experienced these last few years is so heavy. I can’t even find words to properly express it at this point. ❤️‍🩹

[phoenix. 🏳️‍🌈 @phoenix_lite]

"It gets better."

[phoenix. 🏳️‍🌈 @phoenix_lite]

It’s amazing how fast it can happen. How it feels like someone ripped your batteries out and all you want now is to crawl in to bed and curl up under the covers. Suddenly I’m so tired.

[phoenix. 🏳️‍🌈 @phoenix_lite]

You think you’re adjusting and things aren’t so bad, you’re doing better than you thought you would and.. bam 💥 it hits you and it’s everything you were dreading. It’s lonely, quiet, no where near as comfortable or fun. On the plus side, there’s only an hour left for today. 😮‍💨😞

[phoenix. 🏳️‍🌈 @phoenix_lite]

😘🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

[phoenix. 🏳️‍🌈 @phoenix_lite]

This needs to be posted again. 🐦💃🏻✨

[phoenix. 🏳️‍🌈 @phoenix_lite]

My stomach hurts from laughing at this. 🐦💃🏻

[phoenix. 🏳️‍🌈 @phoenix_lite]

Grief is really hard.

[phoenix. 🏳️‍🌈 @phoenix_lite]

Who needs sleep anyway?

[phoenix. 🏳️‍🌈 @phoenix_lite]

Once back inside I tried to be “normal” but I fumbled about trying to get a drink before joining everyone while they ate. I woke up shortly after. I wish I could have one last family celebration with Dad there too. These dreams always hit hard. I miss him so much.

[phoenix. 🏳️‍🌈 @phoenix_lite]

I had a dream I was attending a potluck type lunch but wasn’t given any info about it prior, just handed things and we walked to the venue. When we got there I realized it was mostly my dad’s siblings and he was there too. They were all so happy.

[phoenix. 🏳️‍🌈 @phoenix_lite]

I just took it all in for a minute before it dawned on me, we were having this lunch because it was the last holiday we’d get with Dad. That gutted me. I stepped outside for a minute after that and sat on the step and watched the ocean for a few minutes trying to sort myself out.

[phoenix. 🏳️‍🌈 @phoenix_lite]

eleven years and I haven’t found my way out of the rabbit hole yet. I don’t think I ever will, and that’s okay.

[🦕 Isaiah Cole Torre 🦖 @IsaiahCTorre]

Always and forever.

[phoenix. 🏳️‍🌈 @phoenix_lite]

Why tf do people think it’s okay just to stroll through peoples property? There’s a man that is walking his dogs through ours twice a day now. People live here, genius, it’s not a damn dog park. I’m so sick of St. John’s. This city is more of a joke day by day.

[phoenix. 🏳️‍🌈 @phoenix_lite]

Looks like America fucked up again. I don't understand how.

Who votes to elect a criminal, sexist, homophobic, ignorant excuse for a human like that?

Absolutely wild.

[︎ ︎ @gIoomyweather]

raindrops.