Phutatorius

Father, Attorney, Low-Level Internet Personality, Occasional Blogger, Author of New Jersey's Famous Turnpike Witch (@turnpikewitch).

[Phutatorius @phutatorius]

@GuardsJoey (1) Package Naylor, Arias, and if necessary a prospect for an LH reliever. (2) DFA Heuer and call up Aleman. (3) DFA Fairchild and call up Watson, give him 2-3 weeks of regular run while Ingle takes reps in LF, then call up Ingle if Watson struggles.

[Phutatorius @phutatorius]

@JL_Baseball There’s always another guy. Tonight it’s Cruz

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@DeryBrosPod Chisholm took strike three but the ump couldn’t bring himself to call it and Hedgie couldn’t bring himself to appeal. Maddening

[Phutatorius @phutatorius]

@DeryBrosPod And pulling Manzo at the first opportunity played right into Boone’s hands

[Phutatorius @phutatorius]

@JacobsFieldRBW Tony Bernazard

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@JL_Baseball Seems like today’s crew got especially frisky when they couldn’t be challenged

[Phutatorius @phutatorius]

@cujicubrito @sportsin_cle Not thrilled with José burning one on a 1-1 count, either. And I say that with all the love in the world for José Ramirez, easily my all-time favorite athlete.

They need to make better decisions. Also, the ump doesn’t get to take the afternoon off after we burn them.

[Phutatorius @phutatorius]

@DeryBrosPod Watched it in person from right field, Thing of beauty.

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@CovertheCorner I always thought Grant Balfour was a tough name to give a pitcher …

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@DeryBrosPod Let’s just hit six of our own and print some Manzlauter tees.

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@CleGuardians Feel like some T-shirts are in order

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@jeffMLBdraft Boy oh boy did you call this one!

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@DeryBrosPod One of these days they’re gonna put a game out of reach and it won’t be any fun anymore …

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@PatrickThePi @AtTheCornerPod Well said

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@jeffMLBdraft In his defense it took three pitches to strike him out

[Phutatorius @phutatorius]

@DeryBrosPod So much broken here. SK let the one pitch he could hit go by. We’ve got no one to pinch-run for Manzardo, no one who can put the ball in play with a runner on 3rd. Hoskins is a non-factor, and Jose is rolling balls over to 2B. Can’t hold a 2-run lead, so don’t ask. Can’t score 3.

[Phutatorius @phutatorius]

@CalPenalPod I need to see more from Kwan—or maybe I don’t depending on the AAV. Hard to see him agreeing to come in under $20M/ year but the bat has been too inconsistent lately to support that kind of salary.

[Phutatorius @phutatorius]

@rivermillion @_sethmorton Are we talking about the President?

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@DeryBrosPod Would have loved him to be at second there in the ninth. Ugh.

Anyway—really sorry to hear about the injury. Hang tough!

[Phutatorius @phutatorius]

@PeteFiutak I dunno. What has the fetishizing of brevity done for us these last ten years, other than make us dumber and quicker to anger?