Tristan

[Tristan @pickles_tc]

I try to get my hopes up and be excited for something just for it to get dicked on. Story of my life, bust my ass and all I get is a “good job now fuck off.”

[Tristan @pickles_tc]

I should’ve told my mother, Mom I love you like a good son, but this life is overwhelming and I’m ready for the next one🎶🎶

[CeJay Cook @OfficialCeBass]

If you think MGK has a chance in this feud, you’re completely delusional.

[Tristan @pickles_tc]

It takes less material to make shorter shorts, so they should be cheaper right?! Nope. It’s expensive to show off your thunder thighs😔

[CeJay Cook @OfficialCeBass]

“You should join the army, it’ll open up so many doors for you!”

[Tristan @pickles_tc]

My alter ego has face tattoos and does cocaine.

[Tristan @pickles_tc]

As if I didn’t hate the army enough already. Fuck this🙄

[Tristan @pickles_tc]

Guess who didn’t get trashed on his 21st bday. Me🙋🏻‍♂️ thanks army

[Tristan @pickles_tc]

I can’t spend holidays with my family and that makes me hate the army even more

[Tristan @pickles_tc]

Nothing like them other mother fuckers I can make you rich. I can make you this baby I can make you that. I can take you there and baby you won’t make it back.

[Tristan @pickles_tc]

Let your nuts drag hitta

[Tristan @pickles_tc]

Damn Lil Peep always puttin me in my feelings.

[Tristan @pickles_tc]

Everyone else in my company went home at 1100 today. But us Mortards are still sitting here. At 1412. Not doing a damn thing.

[Tristan @pickles_tc]

@risner_emilee Damn you still use Twitter? Lmao

[Tristan @pickles_tc]

Yo the worst thing is when you want to chop someone’s ears off and wear them as a trophy but have to be “nice.” Whatevs

[Tristan @pickles_tc]

I ain’t heard of you. Get the fuck up out my fuckin face before I murder you. ⚡️☠️

[Tristan @pickles_tc]

I have never seen anyone eat Popeyes in my entire life until I moved to Texas and literally everyone eats that’s shit. #KFCisKing

[Tristan @pickles_tc]

I gotta make my point, even if it puts my life in danger. Cause this planet sucks anyways 🖕🏻🌎

[Tristan @pickles_tc]

It literally sexually arouses me to shut an alarm off

[Tristan @pickles_tc]

New Years just won’t be the same without kissing @tothumbs and @lungsandrust on the mouth😔