Captain_Pturkeyshanks doesn’t like cranberry sauce

Born to be a cog in the Infernal Machine @pickleshanks.bsky.social | alt in case me ship goes down @shicklepanks

[Captain_Pturkeyshanks doesn’t like cranberry sauce @pickleshanks]

If I like your tweet or reply seconds after you post it, I’m either stalking you or just on Twitter too much. You’ll never know.

[Captain_Pturkeyshanks doesn’t like cranberry sauce @pickleshanks]

Happy 2020 6!

[ᴘᴏᴛᴀᴛᴜᴍ @pot8um]

Cannot fucking believe it’s already been a year since this happened.

From the depths of my soul, thank y’all so much. I’m not being hyperbolic when I say you saved me & my family. Last winter feels so far away.

We made it.

[DreamLeaf 🌱🌻 🍉 @DreamLeaf5]

This is the “men in women’s bathrooms” people should be concerned about.

[Joyce ★ @illjoy_]

Benoit Blanc’s voice has to be in the running for greatest American accent ever done by a non-American for a movie

[Captain_Pturkeyshanks doesn’t like cranberry sauce @pickleshanks]

@beanToast__ I love you, my Bean Friend 🫂

[Captain_Pturkeyshanks doesn’t like cranberry sauce @pickleshanks]

The same thing it’s always taught me my whole life; shove it all down. Just keep shoving. Go with the flow like a leaf in a hurricane. Bing tv and video games and don’t think about it. Otherwise you’ll fucking explode and die.

Also forget to take your meds because that helps too

[Lyn🦋 @_ayandamay]

What is life teaching you right now..?

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Gal Gadot Assures Casting Agent She Can Play AI Roles
https://t.co/WVEs6b15zp

[Caleb @calebwfrancis]

A weapons master for movies/tv told me they do this on purpose when the directors or actors are assholes to make them look dumb 😂

[chaoticglitched @chaoticglitched]

the epstein files

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Study Finds Link Between Red Wine, Letting Mother Know What You Really Think https://t.co/6WW6ON4zpl

[Aaron Day @AaronRDay]

For You "Elon Saved Free Speech" White Knight Assholes: Read the New Terms of Service Released Today

X just updated their Terms of Service effective January 15, 2026. Here's what you agreed to:

AI TRAINING RIGHTS GRAB: Everything you post becomes training data for their AI models. Every thought, opinion, creative work. You're building their models for free. No compensation. No opt out.

PERPETUAL CONTENT LICENSE: They get a worldwide, royalty-free license to use, copy, modify, and distribute your content "for any purpose" in "any media now known or later developed." Forever. They can sell it. Give it to governments. Anything.

FORCED JURISDICTION: All disputes must be filed in Tarrant County, Texas. You waive the right to join class actions. If they wrong millions of users, you sue alone in THEIR court.

ARBITRARY TERMINATION: They can delete your account "for any other reason or no reason at our convenience." Years of content, connections, reputation. Gone. Zero due process.

$15,000 LIQUIDATED DAMAGES: Access more than 1 million posts in 24 hours and you owe $15,000. Per million. Journalists and researchers investigating the platform face financial ruin.

GOVERNMENT DISCLOSURE: They reserve the right to hand your DMs, drafts, and entire history to governments based on what they "reasonably believe" is necessary.

ANTI-JAILBREAK CLAUSE: Testing their AI systems, exposing censorship mechanisms, or security research is now explicitly a Terms violation. They added "prompt engineering or injection" to prohibited conduct.

ONE YEAR STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS: Discover they harmed you after 366 days? You "forever waive the right" to pursue any claim.

MAXIMUM LIABILITY $100: They destroy your business, reputation, or life through negligence? Maximum recovery: one hundred dollars.

Free speech platform. Sure.

[Captain_Pturkeyshanks doesn’t like cranberry sauce @pickleshanks]

@Locked_Lckd @feyiszn Damn I was about to agree with OP because it feels so fucked but necessary nowadays, but I never thought of it from this angle.

[ChudsOfTikTok 🖥️ @ChudsOfTikTok]

The "anti-war" president stealing oil from Venezuela while bombing Syria to distract his supporters from his very cozy relationship with Epstein is one of the slickest robber-baron/pedophile moves ever.

[Twonks @twonkscomics]

💐

[Jenna Taylor ♀️ @JennaLizzy]

There is this common myth that the estrogen that trans women take is "synthetic."

It's not.

This here is estradiol. It's bioidentical estrogen.

Chemically identical to the estrogen produced by the ovaries.

It's the same medication routinely prescribed to cissexual women during menopause.

The only difference is who people think deserves access to it.

[Sam (he/him) @mushycrouton]

There is no need to willingly offer up gay marriage like this.

Gay people are NOT willing to give up marriage rights for the sake of terf feelings.

The fact these people are even proposing it as a hypothetical is a sign that they know it’s under threat.