the nose picker

I pick my nose all day every day

[the nose picker @pickyournose67]

https://t.co/OakLEfAkOC

[Shit Jokes @ShitJokes]

I called the doctor "My wife is going into labour! What should I do?"

"Is this her first child?" he asked.

"No, this is her husband."

[Shit Jokes @ShitJokes]

I went to the doctors with hearing problems.

He said "Can u describe the symptoms?"

I said "Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair"

[Shit Jokes @ShitJokes]

Bought a deodorant stick today.

Instructions say "remove cap & push up bottom"

I can hardly walk but when I fart the room smells lovely.

[Shit Jokes @ShitJokes]

Dogs can't operate MRI machines, but catscan.

[Shit Jokes @ShitJokes]

Last night after a few beers my mate asked if he could stay on my sofa

I had to explain to him that I'm married now so that's where I sleep

[the nose picker @pickyournose67]

https://t.co/OakLEfAkOC

[C Real @MasterOfCyril]

This Family guy Clip be funny as hell😆😆😆

[Shit Jokes @ShitJokes]

Son: Did you know in some countries you don't know your wife until you get married?

Me: It's like that everywhere, son.

[Shit Jokes @ShitJokes]

I've just seen an advert in my local newspaper.

ACCOUNTANT NEEDED!
£35,000 - £40,000

So I rang them and said, "The answer is -£5,000"

[Shit Jokes @ShitJokes]

Poo jokes aren't my favourite but they are a solid number two.

[shirts belong out @shirtsbelongout]

There can be something as an underwater beach #SpongeBob #ThingsILearnedFromCartoons

[Shit Jokes @ShitJokes]

Me: I'm looking for a book by Shakespeare...

Librarian: Which one?

Me: William

[Mr Music Updater™ @MrMusicUpdater]

We've Got Full Video Of @MeilechKohn Full Performance At @TheKimzitz On My Channel
https://t.co/zFbAjQAdUd
Here's #JustAGlimpse #ItDidn'tFit

[Mr Music Updater™ @MrMusicUpdater]

Random Fact: If Every Like, Would Just Be A Follow Or Retweet Instead The World Would've Been A Better Place!
Retweet & Follow If You Agree!

[mp @swaggy_p67]

[[email protected] ] https://t.co/VpQGS5QzdM

[Bleacher Report @BleacherReport]

Casual 😂 (via @kvmfairfax) https://t.co/A05juJaYmy

[the nose picker @pickyournose67]

Pls pls pls pls follow @swaggy_p67 we need to reach 215 by tomorrow night to win our bet pls pls pls(look at previous tweet)

[the nose picker @pickyournose67]

Anyone who follows @swaggy_p67 will get a free bag of weed just email [email protected]

[the nose picker @pickyournose67]

Pls pls pls pls follow @swaggy_p67 we need to reach 215 by tomorrow night to win our bet pls pls pls(look at previous tweet)